Worth the Wait
by international-gurl322
Summary: Sequel to Summer Heat. Castle and Beckett are officially 'dating', but with that positive term comes obstacles they hadn't initially signed on for. Can their relationship stand the test of the holiday season, and time in general?
1. Chapter 1: Walking On Snow

Chapter 1 -- Walking On Snow

Drifting down from the heavens that loomed above the extensive skyline of New York City were light, fluffy flakes of a miracle substance commonly called snow. They floated from the clouds to Earth in a leisurely fashion, each of a unique design and glinting faintly in the dim light of the sun. And though people grumbled and groaned about the frigid cold, the hassles often associated with winter, all Kate Beckett could see was absolute beauty. The way white coated each building and blanketed every sidewalk captivated her, adding an extra bounce to her step. The scenery that spanned Manhattan brought to the forefront of her mind fond memories of sledding in Central Park; of snowball fights just beyond the school premises, and careful constructions of snowmen in front of her childhood apartment complex.

There was no question that this season was her favorite -- always had been, always would be.

For as her measured footfalls made shallow impressions in the snow, Kate relished the sensation of the bitterly cold wind nipping her nose, causing it to redden at the tip. While the faces of those around her were twisted into thin-lipped scowls, hers beheld an expression of pure awe, her emerald eyes alight with wonderment. She had to fight back the urge to stick out her tongue and capture a little flake upon it, for there was something simply _magical_ about this time of the year. Caught up in the hustle and bustle of their daily lives, many had forgotten the feeling, or chose to ignore it -- but not she. No, she would savor the spellbinding glamour of December until her dying day, if only because she associated it so strongly with her mother.

Swiftly rounding the corner leading onto Delancey Street, the detective absently brushed aside a few stray strands of dark hair with a fingerless-gloved hand. These chestnut-colored tendrils had somehow worked their way out of the loose ponytail that bound her subtly wavy tresses, which she had allowed to grow out over the course of the past few months. This she had done largely due to the persistent nagging of self-proclaimed diva Martha Rodgers, who had insisted that Kate let herself be a little softer, a tad more feminine. The mischievous redhead had also cited that men liked 'something to grab onto' in the throes of passion, winking no-so-subtly as her son had strolled into the room at that particular moment.

Needless to mention, Kate had blushed profusely at her risqué choice of words, and improvised a hasty excuse to flee the vicinity. Though after careful consideration, she had taken the old vixen's advice, only to find that she was quite satisfied with her new look. She had decided that she liked feeling a little more sexy, and that indulging in a womanly impulse every now and again might not be so wrong. In fact, this discovery was only one of many she'd made as of late. Life with Richard Castle & Co. -- as she had come to refer to his family -- making frequent appearances was interesting, to say the least. With them around, there was never a dull moment, nor a day gone by without some sort of strange occurrence of epic proportions. But now that she had grown accustomed to their eccentric way of going about their lives, she wouldn't have it any other way -- it was both wild and wonderful, in her eyes.

A smile lingered upon the brunette's lips, as she entered the hectic Essex Street Market, and was reminded of her eating plans. Her frozen limbs began to thaw due to the throngs of frenzied shoppers between whom she artfully weaved, slowly but steadily getting closer to her destination. Having received a call at the precinct an hour beforehand from a young person dear to her heart, Kate had abandoned her previous lunchtime engagement, somehow managing to pry herself away from the very needy, very suspicious Rick Castle. It was comical, how paranoid he was -- he seemed to think that she was hell-bent on moving forward with their latest murder case, while leaving him in dust. So, behaving in a carefully flippant manner, she'd let him sweat a little, all in the spirit of fun. Just because they were now a couple -- thought not exclusive -- didn't mean she couldn't still make him squirm, a favorite pastime of hers.

Tossing a glance behind her, Kate checked to make sure the absurdly mistrustful author hadn't followed her; after all, she wouldn't put it past him. _All clear_, she mused complacently, before entering the lively diner that was her destination. Shopsins was an offbeat little place renowned for its unusual menu items, and even more outlandish owner. It had formerly been in Greenwich VIllage, but relocated due to economic hardship. Now, however, it was back in full swing, and a great place to grab a quick bite -- hence her being there.

Avidly scanning the swarm of hungry people, the detective searched the for sole individual she had come to meet. Finally pinpointing her at a table near the back corner, green eyes all alit, she began to make her way toward that area. Nestled comfortably into the seat cushion was none other than the witty young Alexis Castle, beaming in her prim school uniform. Immediately she sprang up from her spot, and greeted the cop with unrestrained enthusiasm.

"Hey, girlie," Kate responded with equal merriment, grinning from ear to ear. Pulling the redhead in for a quick hug, she inquired, "How's life been since I last saw you... oh, five hours ago?" She laughed lightly, as the two resumed their seats.

Smoothing down the pleats of her immaculate plaid skirt, the teenager shrugged. "It's exam week -- it's stressful, you know?" She sighed, then flashed a smile as their waiter approached. "But at least the headmaster decided on an open schedule this year, otherwise we'd never have been able to meet for lunch like this."

Kate nodded sympathetically, understanding the girl's plight. A plethora of tests crammed into a single week meant lots of pressure, and little time for enjoying the approach of the holidays. "I'll have a hot cocoa, when you get a chance," she replied to the waiter's inquiry as to their drinks. He was a young guy, and seemed only to have eyes for Alexis, barely acknowledging the detective's words.

"The same, please," added the pretty redhead, who averted her eyes to the server's obvious ogling.

After he had walked away to retrieve their beverages, Kate snickered, her eyes glinting with mischief. "Okay, so, I'd just like to put it out there that our waiter was just undressing you with his eyes." She grinned, then pulled a serious face. "He better behave -- I'm armed."

Kicking the other woman beneath the table, Alexis smiled through her embarrassment. "I have my dad to be overly protective, thanks." She propped her elbow beneath her chin, then inquired with curiosity, "Speaking of which, how did you manage to get away from him? I know he's always super-afraid that you'll crack a case without him." Rolling her eyes with a certain fondness, she tried to hide the blush that crept over her features as the waiter returned.

Then, after their orders had been taken -- and Alexis had been sufficiently objectified by the server -- Kate replied in a lofty, indifferent tone, "Oh, you know... Just some rope, duct tape, handcuffs and a spare interrogation room was all it took get him feeling cooper--"

Clamping her hands over her ears, the teenager cried, "Okay, on second thought, _never-mind_." She grimaced, having regretted questioning the detective's methods. "I'm way too young to hear about this, thank God."

Kate smirked. "You asked," she pointed out, taking a leisurely sip of her hot chocolate. The warmth of the dark liquid coated her throat, and seeped into her veins, thawing out the rest of her body. "Alright, Lex, time to spill -- why'd I have to ditch your dad?" She fixed the girl with a playfully scrutinizing gaze, lacing her fingers beneath her chin in a philosophical manner. "I realize he can be quite irritating -- believe me, I do," the detective rolled her eyes as the individual across from her giggled, "but that doesn't usually seem to faze you. Like father, like daughter, as the saying goes." She flashed a cheeky smile.

"Oh, _ha ha_." Alexis laughed sarcastically, narrowing her bright blue-green eyes. "Touché, Kate, touché. Looks like you've finally figured out how to measure up to the infamous Castle wit factor."

Snorting and gesturing toward the ceiling in an offhanded manner, Kate replied haughtily, "Puh-_lease_, I've acquired witticisms you can only _wish_ you'd come up with." Patting the redhead's pale hand condescendingly, she added, "But maybe if you're a good little girl, and stop avoiding my question," she arched a brow, stating these last words with pointedness, "I'll share some of this genius with you." The sportive woman tapped the side of her head with a wink, then waited expectantly for a reply.

Trying unsuccessfully to keep the wide smile from stretching across her features, Alexis couldn't help but marvel at the change she'd observed in both the detective before her, and her own father. Ever since they had admitted their feelings for one another -- some four months ago now -- and started dating, it was as if the two of them were floating on their own little cloud. It wasn't as if they were mushy lovebirds 24/7, gazing into each other's eyes and murmuring sweet nothings; while that may have been okay with her dad, she knew for a fact that it wasn't Kate's style. Rather, it was the littler, more subtle things that she noticed and found to be sweet. For example, there was the way that Kate would gently slap her father's arm when he said something outrageous, and Alexis felt that one would have to be blind not to see how her fingers lingered on his skin and her eyes shone brilliantly. On her dad's part, she'd spotted how he watched Kate set the dinner table with a single-minded fascination, an expression on his face that was so full of intimate emotion she felt she was intruding on something by looking at him.

Of course, it had been awkward at first, mostly due to Kate's obvious discomfort. While Alexis and her grandmother had been overwhelmingly hospitable, practically smothering her with enthusiasm and delight, the uneasy cop had still behaved as though she were an outsider. But as the days had turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, her overnight stays had become so frequent that it was odd not to see her there for dinner. In all honesty, the redhead didn't understand why she still kept her apartment, as the only time she visited it anymore was to grab an outfit or a miscellaneous item. And the bonds between each of them had strengthened, which was what now made them into a weird but wonderful sort of family.

So, it was for this reason that, after much consideration, Alexis was going to ask the detective to accompany them on their annual holiday trip to Hawaii. She hadn't exactly checked with her dad about it yet, but her grandma thought it was a splendid idea, and had already begun planning numerous 'spa-outings' for the three of them.

Grinning at the recollection of her gran's eccentric antics, the teenager met the curious gaze of the woman across from her, nerves gnawing at the lining of her stomach. For some reason, she was worried about how Kate would react -- namely, that she would say no. Over the past few months, the two of them had become quite close, their connection a happy medium channeling the one shared between best friends and mothers/daughters. And though they still had so much to learn about one another, Alexis was harboring a cautious hope that Christmas would be a chance for them to further fortify their bond.

"Well..." Began the redhead in an enigmatic tone, a smile playing on her lips. She drew in a deep breath, and was just about to take the leap when that _stupid-ass_ waiter came sauntering back over. He practically tossed Kate's food into her lap, but her own order he set elegantly before her in lecherous servitude, making sure to get in an eyeful of her small, pert breasts. At this, Alexis' usually dormant temper flared like a volcano, and she demanded in a shockingly authoritative tone, "How about you watch my face instead of my chest, okay, pal?" He blubbered and stuttered, clearly taken aback by her outburst. "We'll take the check, please." She added in a sickly sweet tone, then picked up her fork and completely ignored his apologies.

After the schooled server had shambled away, hanging his head, Kate eyed the teen with a newfound reverence. "Smart _and_ savvy, what a combo. You shine bright, hon -- makes your dad proud everyday." She winked, sipping at a spoonful of her curry soup. "And the cop in me is thrilled at the girl power you just unveiled. _That_ is how we represent." A grin blazed across her features.

Alexis laughed, spearing a bit of her greek falafel salad. "Aw, it was nothing -- the guy needed a reality check anyhow." Gesturing with an inclination of her head toward a table near to their own, she added dryly, "I caught a glimpse of him harassing them, too. Seems like a classy dude." She rolled her eyes, as the subject of their conversation momentarily returned to drop off the check. He kept his gaze trained on the floor, and his tail between his legs, so to speak.

Almost in unison, both women reached for the bill. With slightly quicker reflexes, Kate wrapped her fingers around it and smirked. "Better luck next time, grasshopper." Reaching into her back pocket for her wallet, she added definitively, "Besides, nobody is leaving here until you answer my question." She checked her watch, and chuckled. "You've got about ten minutes before your father sends out a SWAT team looking for me, so I suggest you make it brief." Her expression said that she wasn't at all kidding.

"Oh, right," Alexis grinned, fully able to picture such an outrageous situation playing out. After all, anything was possible with her dad -- that much she had learned from fifteen years in his company. "Okay, here's the lowdown. You ready?"

Kate couldn't help but smile -- that was a cop's phrase. "Lay it on me, sarge." She crossed her legs and sat back in her chair, thoroughly entertained. _This oughta be good_, she mused jovially.

"Every year gran, dad, and myself spend Christmas and New Years in Hawaii. We usually leave a few days before the actual holiday, and stay until I have to come back for school." The redhead paused, watching the detective's face anxiously. She seemed not to have grasped the point just yet, and so, the teenager continued her explanation. "Dad has a friend out there who owns a rental company, and he always lets us stay in gran's favorite condo. It's a little extravagant -- which I'm sure doesn't surprise you -- but is also very nice. Fifteen feet from the ocean, near a secluded beach, and also has a pool." A light shrug signified that she thought it to be a bit over-the-top, but appreciated it nonetheless.

Letting out a low whistle, Kate shook her head disbelievingly. "Never been to Hawaii, not on a cop's salary." She laughed softly. "Only beach I've ever been to is in Miami, and that was for a police convention."

Alexis had known that Kate rarely indulged herself, but she had to admit, this tidbit came as a surprise to her. "_Seriously_?" She asked incredulously, her young age showing as her almond-shaped eyes widened.

A laugh sitting in her throat, the detective nodded. "Not all of us have internationally best-selling authors for fathers, Lex," she teased, taking another drink of her hot cocoa. "Continue on with your fairy tale, then." As to why she was being told all this, Kate didn't quite know, but the etherealness of it all made her wonder how the girl before her hadn't turned out a spoiled snob.

Faintly blushing, Alexis smiled sheepishly, hoping that she wasn't sounding like a show-off. If there was one thing she had never done and would never resort to doing, it was flaunting her wealth. Even at a school like Dalton Prep, which was teeming with money and students who had an abundance of it, she was considered to be one of the richest attendees -- if not the very most. But by looking at her or spending five minutes in her company, one never would've been able to detect this. There was no royal air about her, and she wore no glittery diamonds or designer clothing. She was remarkably level-headed, and it showed. Although her mother might have tried to instill in her a certain haughty, holier-than-thou attitude, she had taken after her father in only endeavoring to display playful conceit.

"Um, anyway..." The teen tried to shake off her embarrassment with taking another bite of her salad. _It's now or never_, she thought, and steeled herself for whatever was to come. "I was thinking... I mean, Gran and I were..." She paused, inhaling. A shy smile dawned upon her features, as she summoned up the gall to ask her question. "That maybe you'd like to expand your repertoire of beaches, and come with us on our trip this year?" The girl was unable to suppress the gleam of hope that ignited in her eyes, as she eagerly observed the woman across from her.

Luckily enough, Kate hadn't been drinking or eating at that particular moment, otherwise she probably would have choked. A stunned expression dominating her features, she faltered for a moment, before managing to push out a sound that vaguely resembled her own voice. "Oh, Alexis..." She ran a hand through her dark hair, clearly at a loss for words. "That's just... _wow_. Um." Her mouth opened and closed a few times, swallowing flies and sucking in hot air. Clearing her throat, her brows drew together as she inquired, "Did you, uh... Is your dad okay with this? I'm just wondering, seeing as you made sure he wouldn't be here."

Thoughts were flying through the detective's mind a mile a minute, as she processed the events of the past few moments. In all honesty, she had been actively avoiding thoughts of how her Christmas would be spent -- she didn't want to seem pathetic, latching onto Castle and his family because she didn't have one of her own. Of course there was her father, but he had a girlfriend this year, the first one since her mother's death. And though he had dutifully invited Kate to accompany him down to his new lady friend's family's house in Long Island, she had declined, feeling it would be a disgrace to her mom's memory. Somewhere deep down, she resented him for moving on, and was punishing him because she was hurt. But Christmas on holiday with Rick? It sounded to good to be true, and she mistrusted the prospect.

The redheaded girl speaking brought Kate back to reality. "Well..." There was a trace of guilt in her voice. "He isn't exactly aware that Gran and I are inviting you." A rueful smile worked its way onto her features. "But I know he wouldn't mind! He would be thrilled, actually, if you were to come with us." She leaned forward enthusiastically, face all alight. "The only reason we decided not to tell him was... was in case you couldn't come." The happiness drained from her in one quick moment. "Or... if you said 'no.'" Her crestfallen expression just at the possibility was heart-rending. "We didn't want him to be all mopey over the holidays."

Kate was struck by the sweetness of this gesture. Alexis had gone to all sorts of trouble to arrange a private lunch with her, just to spare her father's feelings if things didn't work out. She felt chains wind themselves around her heart and squeeze, tacking on additional pressure. "I..." Hesitating, she tried to keep the shame out of her voice. "I'm touched by your offer, Lex, I really am. But with the way things are right now, I can't possibly afford to pay for a round-trip plane ticket to Hawaii." She paused, rubbing her temples -- her signature tell of distress. "It's just... it's not within my price range, at the moment."

Oddly enough, relief flooded Alexis' features. "Oh, _that's_ all! I thought you were going to say you had other plans or something." She laughed, waving away the brunette's words with a casual gesture of her hand. "Don't worry about the money, Kate. We always ride with dad's friend -- the one who owns the rental company -- and his family, on their private jet." Grinning, her pearly whites illuminated the diner to its most obscure crevices. "Really, it's not a problem. No airport hassle, either!" She spoke as though conversing about a new and handy method of doing laundry.

A silence. "I see." Kate managed a feeble smile, thoroughly overwhelmed. _Of course Rick would know a multimillionaire family with a spare crib in Hawaii and a private jet_. She thought dryly. Sometimes she forgot just how well-connected he really was, or it slipped her mind that he himself was worth millions. Thus, when she was reminded of his bursting bank account, it always caught her off-guard.

Sensing the detective's constraint, Alexis replied hastily, "You don't have to decide right now, of course! I know you have to get back to the precinct." She flashed an eager smile, and added, "We won't be leaving for another week, anyway. So... take your time, and think about it all you need." Her earnestness was harrowing, shattering the cop's heart.

Somehow succeeding in standing up, Kate gave the teen a parting hug. "I certainly will." She pulled back, a strange lump in her throat.

Gazing up at the woman's face, Alexis stated honestly, "I hope I didn't unsettle you by asking you to come with us... I never meant to upset you." She fidgeted with the hem of her skirt. "It's just, we've gotten really close over the past few months, and... Christmas wouldn't seem right without you there." A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

The chains around Kate's heart tightened. Embracing the girl yet again, she tenderly kissed the top of her head. "You're sweet," she murmured, gently cuffing the redhead beneath the chin in an affectionate gesture. "I'll let you know soon, okay, gorgeous?" The two walked outside together, linked arm-in-arm. "Now you get back to school and do something useful with that clever mind of yours, you hear?" She grinned, waving as the teen walked off in the opposite direction.

Now on her way to the precinct, the frigid wind to her back, Kate blinked away moisture. Stopping just outside the familiar building, she leaned against the brick, and regained her precious composure. "Damn it," she muttered under breath, shivering. "What in God's name am I gonna do?"


	2. Chapter 2: The Dynamo Of Volition

_Unending thanks for all of your positive feedback, it has really touched my heart to know you guys are enjoying the story/sequel. I sincerely hope that this chapter will meet your expectations and keep you interested, and whether it does or not, please feel free to share your thoughts! Castle belongs to ABC._

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Chapter 2 -- The Dynamo of Volition

_Tap, tap, tap_.

Silence.

_Tap, tap, tap, tap_...

Abruptly slapping the file in his hands down on the wooden surface of the desk, an equally irritated and amused Detective Javier Esposito gave the evil eye to a certain inane mystery author, the corners of his mouth pulled downward into a scowl. "Yo, Castle, my man," He barked, instantly capturing the other man's undivided attention. "You gotta chill out, aight? The pen thing's drivin' me up a wall." Leaning over and plucking the writing utensil from Rick's hand, he gestured at it pointedly, then proceeded to chuck it blindly behind him. "If that hits someone -- like, say, the captain -- I'm blamin' it on you." Hastily he returned to leafing through the missing persons info stacked before him, appearing to be entirely engrossed.

At this little spectacle, Esposito's non-blood-related brother and virtual personality twin, the bright blue-eyed and Irish-oriented Detective Kevin Ryan, snickered. "What's got your tighty-whities in a knot anyway, eh, writer boy?" He asked, reclining in his black leather chair. Mischief reflected in the smile that dawned upon his boyish features, he added slyly, "Beckett's been AWOL for quite a while now... Ten bucks says she's snagged herself a hot new beau." Haughtily crossing his arms over his chest, he arched an expectant brow, waiting for someone to raise the stakes. "She has been dressing a little... _slinky_, lately. Wouldn't you say, Esposito?"

Nodding vigorously in agreement, the tan-skinned detective grinned, an appreciative gleam in his eye. "You know it, homeboy. Never seen her wear one o' them sexy pencil skirts before," he sniggered, rubbing his hands together lewdly, "or leave quite that many buttons undone, if you catch my drift." The expression on Castle's face got both the young cops roaring. "But hey, I sure as hell ain't complainin'." He mimed the outline of an hourglass in the air, winking at the frozen and incredulous writer.

In between bouts of laughter, Ryan added sportively, "The hair is what's got me wondering. She grows that mane out any longer and Prince Charming'll be at her window, callin' '_Rapunzel, Rapunzel_'!" The two howled once more, all too aware of the affect their antics were having on Castle. Yanking his chain was half the fun, though there was some truth to their words. Over the past few months, they'd noticed a change in their hard-nosed superior, and weren't about to let it slide. Keeping their suspicions on the DL for a little while, they'd been sitting back and simmering, waiting for the just the right time to act. And, given author's obviously strained nerves, they had picked the perfect moment to enact their plan.

As he feigned swiping perspiration away from his forehead, a jovial Esposito remarked approvingly, "But it don't look bad on her, man -- nope, not at all." Suddenly turning on Castle, he questioned in a mockingly innocent tone, "You wouldn't happen to know anything about Beckett's swerve toward the feminine, would you, pal?" Shoving the man in what was supposed to be a playful manner, he added impishly, "I mean, all of us here that've got eyes can see she's been carrying a torch for the ultra-successful, debonair Mr. Richard Castle from day one." With appraising eyes, he and Ryan surveyed a rather flustered, confounded Rick. They were backing him into a corner, and he sure knew it.

"Why, don't look so shocked, Ricky," Ryan jibed, as he and his partner swiveled in their chairs closer to their prey. "All that relentless wooing had to pay off sometime, right? And who better for the job than you, Manhattan's resident heartthrob with a pen and a pad -- he's got a way with the ladies, ya know?" Wagging a finger at the trapped author, he shook his head, chuckling in a rather intimidating fashion. "How _do_ you do it, huh? Drawing our little ice queen out of Antarctica and into the Caribbean."

Smoothly entering back into the one-sided conversation -- or, more accurately, _interrogation_ -- Esposito drawled, "But guess what? While a climate change is all well and good, there are a few minor drawbacks to such a risky alteration." Tilting his head slightly, with grey eyes harder than steel, he queried in a lethal tone, "Ya with me?" The detectives, in unison, crossed their arms over their chests, ever-so-slightly raising their chins.

Holding his hands up as though in surrender, Rick scooted back a bit, scrounging for some room to breathe. "Cool down now, fellas. Where is all this coming from?" His voice was expertly clueless, giving the impression that he hadn't the foggiest notion of what they were talking about. However, in the back of his mind, he prayed for Beckett's speedy return. They were sailing on dangerous waters, entering a sea that was wholly forbidden. He could feel a storm coming on, and set course for shore quickly as possible. "I'm really at a loss for words... which we all know is pretty staggering." There was no question he was treading on thin ice.

Palms facing skyward, Esposito smiled in a way that made his pearly whites seem like the chompers of a shark. "That's no problem at all," he replied pleasantly, "'cause we weren't done." The grin dropped from his features, falling to the floor and shattering. His tone had regained that edge that raised that hair on the back of Rick's neck, making him glance around the squad room for witnesses. If a murder too place right then and there, would anyone be around to testify to its occurrence?

"Look, man," Ryan said lowly, a threat hovering in his words, "All _you_ need to know," he jabbed Castle in the chest, nearly knocking the wind out of him, "is that should you break her heart--"

"--we'll break, no, _smash_ your million dollar, pretty boy face." Esposito finished cheerfully, roughly patting Rick's cheek. "Can ya dig?"

However, before the unnerved writer could respond, the rhythmic cadence of a pair of stiletto boots announced the arrival of the no-nonsense female cop they had been conversing about. As she breezed into the room, bringing with her the chill of the outside air, Esposito and Ryan discreetly slid back over to their area of the desk. They each buried their faces in a file, one of them whistling in an offhanded manner.

"I trust you men have been hard at work all this time?" Kate Beckett inquired fluently as she shrugged out of her winter coat, revealing a white v-neck sweater that drew their hungry eyes to her curvaceous figure. After tossing it onto a hook, she spun on her heel to face them, and noted with suspicion and amusement the way they each looked to the floor. "Ri-_ight_..." She answered herself slowly, dully. As she strode over to her desk she shook her hair from its loose ponytail, auburn waves cascading inches below her shoulders. The scent of lavender and jade wafted throughout the room, filling their nostrils with a sweet intoxication. This could _not_ be the same woman who swore like a sailor and thrust the end of her glock into perps' backs on a daily basis.

Smacking her hand down on the surface of her desk, Kate smirked as Rick was startled out of his reverie, and gazed up at her with wide hazel eyes. Leaning against the wooden structure, she arched a dark brow, waiting in vain for him to stand up from her chair. "Who rattled your cage, Castle?" She questioned sardonically, adding in her most smart-alecky tone, "You look like a crook who just got the zoo lock-up line." Placing her hands on her hips, she allowed herself a close-lipped smile, putting on the hard-assed facade that she always slipped into at the workplace.

Locking eyes with Esposito and Ryan, Rick forced his usual charming expression, folding his hands in his lap. "As always, I was just caught off-guard by your loveliness, Detective. MIght I add that white looks exquisite on you?" He narrowed his eyes at the other two male detectives, as they shoved their fingers down their throats and mimed gagging. When Beckett glanced at them, however, they squashed their noses into paperwork and hummed in what they took to be a nondescript manner.

Shaking her head at their strange behavior, Kate replied with a derisive snort, "I advise you to remember that I'm the one with the cuffs, Castle." Jabbing her thumb in the opposite direction, she gestured for him to get out of her chair. He did so in a pouty fashion, though as they brushed past one another, he couldn't help but gently grasp her wrist and whisper something into her ear.

"Fear not, my sweet, I very clearly recall those handcuffs from earlier." A magnificent, cheeky grin stretched across his features, as he released his light grip on her and plopped down in the chair adjacent to her desk.

Outrage and menace flashed across her features, though her green eyes sparkled at the memory. Kate pursed her lips, attempting to look threatening despite the fact that she was dangerously close to smiling. Clearing her throat, she asked the room at large, "What've we got, anything?" Picking up a pen to slide behind her ear, she added more for her own benefit than anyone else's, "I mean, how many missing persons can there be with a birthmark like our vic's?"

Speaking for the first time since Beckett had arrived, Esposito responded grimly, "More than you'd think. We've been at it since you left." He lied through his teeth, knowing that their little impromptu interrogation wouldn't have gone over big. It was better just to tell the woman what she wanted to hear, and make sure that all loose ends were tied up.

Clapping a hand to her chest with an expression of feigned sympathy, Kate simpered, "Oh, you poor babies." Getting to her feet with a mound of paper in her arms, she added brusquely, "Keep at it. We need to identify this Jane Doe so we can get moving with the investigation." Purposefully stepping out of her desk area, the brunette stated lastly, "Let me know if you come across what we need -- I'll be in the back getting a few things in order." After each of their affirmative nods, she pivoted and began trudging toward her destination.

Kate was only in the filing room a mere five minutes, before she sensed another presence in her personal space. Turning slowly, her gaze fell upon the ruggedly handsome, best-selling author Rick Castle, who also happened to claim the title of her boyfriend. "You gonna stand there and gawp, or actually do something useful?" She demanded, her expression softening as he smiled at her. Her heart did that familiar flip-flop, and in order to resist temptation, she went back to the task at hand. Every time she looked at him now, all she could see were palm trees swaying in the breeze, and the ocean tide lapping at white sand. It certainly wasn't helping her resolve in any way, shape, or form. _Castle in swim trunks... Now that might be worth seeing._

"You look stunningly beautiful today." Snaking his arms around her waist, he murmured in that low, seductive tone against her ear. A delicious chill traversed the length of her spine, and she wanted nothing more than to dissolve into the warmth of his body.

The detective set down the files she held in her hand. "I will pummel you if anyone comes in here and sees you melting all over me like cheese on a burger." She threatened. Yet in spite of the warning in her words, Kate did not budge, instead nestling nearer to him. She felt his lips on the nape of her neck, and his hands resting atop her taut stomach. There was something about his caress that rendered her unable to resist, no matter how mortified she would be if they were caught. Plus, the risk that was involved with canoodling in the case file room was somehow alluring, like one of those 'do not touch' signs in stores that made it seem all the more appealing.

"Mmm..." Rick sighed in satisfaction, peppering kisses up and down the expanse her neck. "I'd say it's like hot gravy fanning out over steaming mashed potatoes... Yeah, that sounds so much more refined." He smiled against her skin, almost able to feel her rolling her eyes. "Don't you agree?"

Twisting around to face him, Kate couldn't help but smile at his proximity, his breath tickling her cheek. "I agree that you need to quit making our pillow talk and other intimate conversations into literary endeavors. Save it for the page, Shakespeare." His mock indignation elicited a light laugh from her lips, one that quickly cracked his facade of personal affront.

"Hey, all I did was make your dry, clichéd food simile into something more original, more... _spicy_." He grinned, growling and nipping at her neck as she playfully swatted him away. "Speaking of which, it's my night to arrange dinner, so I was thinking... how does Indian sound? I'm craving some good ol' chicken _tikka_." Rick chuckled, but was thoroughly puzzled when he felt her stiffen in his arms. Pulling back to gaze at her stony face in concern, he added hastily, "That was just a suggestion, I honestly don't care what we eat." His brows knitted together with worry and confusion, for he'd never seen her react in such a way to the simple matter of supper. "Kate?" She wasn't responding, her eyes glued to the wall behind him.

"I, uh... I was thinking of going back to my place for tonight." Kate was shocked by how awkward she felt saying these words -- since when had she needed to ask permission to stay in her own apartment? She just needed a night to herself was all... to think about things. Namely, what she wanted to do for Christmas and the holidays in general.

However, Rick misunderstood her words, replying uncertainly, "Well, I wouldn't have any problem with that if I hadn't already promised Alexis and my mother that we'd handle dinner... I guess I could tell them to fend for themselves?" He grinned at his willingness to leave them in the dust, all for the woman before him. "I mean, we _are_ in New York City -- there's a take-out place on every corner."

_Oh, God_. Those familiar chains wound themselves around Kate's heart yet again, as she realized that he had misinterpreted her meaning. On the other hand, something within her squirmed, as she felt her independence and freedom being encroached upon. It was this sensation that supplemented her with the courage to say, "What I meant was..." She paused, trying to think of a way to phrase the words inside her head with making them sound so cruel. "I was thinking of going back to my place... alone."

Immediately after she had spoken, the blow that her statement delivered was painstakingly obvious on his face. Kate was saddled with an oppressive guilt even after he composed himself, and replied with a strained smile, "Oh, right, of course. If that's what you want..." He faltered, clearly attempting to keep the hurt at bay, "Yeah, sure." Arms dropping limply to his sides, he made a show of checking his watch. "Look, it's getting late, and I want to be home when Alexis gets out of school. I'll see you in the morning, okay?" Without prelude, he turned and went to leave.

A pang of regret reverberating in her chest, Kate reached out to seize his wrist, her emerald eyes brimming with repressed emotion. "Rick, please," she implored, unsure of what exactly she was begging for. All she knew was that she couldn't let him go. "Don't--"

Rick cut her off, holding up his hand. "Really, it's okay. It's not like we're living together or anything." She had to admit, those words hit her hard, square in the chest. "Until tomorrow." He used his signature phrase, but this time, there was no affection or anticipation behind it -- only lifelessness. In a flash, he had placed a quick, meaningless kiss upon her cheek, and then dashed out of there quicker than Tom Cruise fleeing alien capture in _War of the Worlds_.

Rubbing her temples, Kate glanced at the clock mounted on the wall, only to find that it was just past two o'clock. Alexis wouldn't be getting home for another hour, and he had still gone anyway. "Shit," she swore under her breath, "Genius move, Kate. Why don't you just drive a wooden stake through his chest, do the job right?" Still internally berating herself, she stalked out into the area where her two subordinate detectives remained leafing through files, a dull sheen glazing over their eyes.

As Ryan noted her presence in the room, he shut the manila folder before him, grateful for a distraction. "What's with Castle? He ran out of here like a man fleeing the apocalypse." Curiosity was in his voice, as he saw the unmistakable expression of pain flicker across her features. Esposito was now all ears as well, wondering what had driven writer boy to make such a hasty exit.

Completely disregarding the inquiry, Beckett straightened a few things on her desk, then grabbed her coat and pulled it on over her sweater. "I've got some business to take care of, 'kay? You guys... you just keep looking for another half-hour or so, then call it a day. Buzz me with any news, alright?" She didn't appear to be in the mood to indulge their questions, so they simply nodded, mumbling brief good-byes. "Enjoy your evening, gentlemen." The brunette bustled past them, and then out the exit.

As she stepped out into the frigid air, Kate extracted her cell from her pocket, pushing a single speed-dialed number. It rang two and a half times, before a familiar voice sounded over the other line, tired but feisty. "Lanie," she sighed in relief, taking comfort in hearing her friend, "thank God."

"Hey, girl," the speaker's tone instantly brightened, bringing a smile to her face. "What's happenin' up there in the land of the living? I need a refresher."

The happiness draining from her features, Kate ran a hand through her hair, leaning back against the brick surface of the twelfth precinct for the second time that day. "Nothing that would make you want to rejoin us, trust me," she replied regrettably. "Listen, you wanna grab a drink tonight? I need some good, old-fashioned girl talk." She prayed that the medical examiner didn't have previous obligations -- sure, Kate had other friends she could confide in, but none of them were as honest and frank as Lanie. She would always put it to her straight, and the detective could appreciate this.

"Of course, anything for my number one girl." There was a smile in Lanie's voice that made her feel she could carry on, and somehow make it over another hurtle in the track and field competition of her life. "Usual place?"

Nodding though the other woman could not see her, Kate replied warmly, "You know it. Same time?" She pushed herself away from the wall and began walking, the weight on her shoulders a little less harrowing.

"Whataya think, hon?" Lanie laughed in that infectious way of hers, a deep and reassuring sound. "Look, I gotta get back to my important meeting with Mr. Cold, Unmoving, and Lifeless, but I'll seeya soon. Hang in there until then, ya hear?" Though neither had stated nor asked, the intuitive medical worker had simply sensed that something wasn't right with her friend.

"'Bye," Kate replied succinctly, in better spirits than she had been previously. She was just about to press 'end', when she thought twice about it. "And Lanie?"

Distraction was in the other woman's voice. "Uh-huh?"

"Thanks."

"Anytime, girl." There was a definite softening to Lanie's tone.

Hanging up the phone, Kate slid it back into her pocket, and entered her apartment building. She smiled briefly at someone exiting the elevator, before deciding to take the stairs. With a couple of hours to kill before her evening plans, she was going to soak in a hot bath and try not to torment herself too much. _I wonder what Rick is doing right now_...

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_A/N: Let me know what you guys think, please. Don't forget to watch Castle on ABC this coming week, it's gonna be an epic episode! I'm super-psyched for it._


	3. Chapter 3: X and Y

_Many thanks for all the kind reviews! This chapter I'm not quite satisfied with, but something compelled me to write it. Let me know your thoughts, if you please. Castle belongs to ABC network._

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Chapter 3 -- X and Y

Reclining on the chilly leather couch, dull eyes trained on the ceiling, Rick was in a near comatose state as he lamented the same scene in his mind's eye. Again and again the conversation tortured him, replaying itself like some sinister and wholly broken record. He was being absurdly analytical and he knew it, agonizing over even the minutest detail in order to try to discern where a wrong turn had been taken. Was he being too affectionate, clingy, and/or lovey-dovey for her tastes? Most other women he'd been involved with fell for the romantic spiel hook, line, and sinker -- but none of them had been rough, tough and determined like Kate, serious as a heart attack after having beaten a path through hell and back. One could make an accurate assessment by stating that she was an entirely unique figure in his life; a standout tale to add to his little black book. In accordance with this, he sometimes struggled to figure out where to draw the line, or how to decipher her subtle mood changes and puzzling double entendres.

For certain, the occasional moments of dysfunction and misunderstanding were undoubtedly normal. After all, without the bad times to go along with the good, a relationship could hardly exist. Constant fluff wasn't real, and though he may have come off as immature and childish a good chunk of the time, Rick was starkly aware of this fact of life and love. Going into a commitment with the wounded woman, he had known that it wouldn't be a ride for the free and easy. Though she often succeeded in fooling others with her carefully detached exterior, Kate couldn't con him into believing that her heart was as stony and cold as she might've liked it to be. Just like every other individual on the planet, she felt the pull of attraction, and the ache of wanting to love and be loved in return. She was extraordinary beyond shadow of a doubt, but not at all immune to the persistent nagging of the human condition.

Thus, Rick stood by the simple but concrete notion that no one wanted to be alone. There were social butterflies and there were people who preferred to live under the protection of a figurative rock, but each of these individuals would suffer from a perpetual emptiness until they found someone to share their deepest and most secret hearts with. Everyone needed a best friend, a partner, a person who would navigate through the storm and clear skies alike by their side. Call him a sap, but even after two forsaken marriages, he still had confidence in fate and the search for a soulmate. In today's world, not many people stuck to the long and winding road that led to love -- but recently, he'd found reason to do so.

So why was it that his own personal incentive to wear his heart plainly on his sleeve had spurned him, yanking the rug right out from underneath him when he'd least expected it?

There was a good chance he was overreacting, blowing the whole situation out of proportion in a typical Castle fashion. Perhaps she had simply wanted an evening to herself, to veg out after a stressful day. Sometimes he forgot that she'd been on her own for a long time, rooted in a pattern of independence and self-reliance. As the saying went, old habits died hard, and a person who had spent the majority of the past decade living in solitude wasn't going to become family-oriented overnight. But watching Kate with Alexis was what had convinced him that she would quite nicely settle into their odd little clan, for the two of them were like birds of a feather. Initially he'd worried how the very private detective would react to his mother and daughter, who weren't _nosy_ per se, but definitely didn't set personal boundaries. He'd been pleasantly surprised, however, to find that after the ice had been broken it had been smooth sailing.

Needless to mention, Rick had received a hard slap in the face when she'd proclaimed her desire to be alone. Maybe if he'd had some inkling of it before, like overly thorny behavior or withdrawal from his touch, then he wouldn't have been so jarred by her words. But she had been behaving in a perfectly normal manner --certainly not compliant, though responsive enough to encourage his advances. The abrupt switch from lighthearted banter to aloofness had left him reeling, for it was difficult to know something he'd unwittingly said or done was enough to make a loved one turn away. Just by the way she'd grown so strained, so tense, he was almost positive that he'd provoked her withdrawal -- it hadn't been a simple desire to unwind in her own space. Only problem was, he couldn't figure out what had set her off. Maybe getting too close in the workplace? But, let's be honest here, that afternoon hadn't been the first time...

With a heavily weighted sigh, the gloomy writer hoisted himself into a sitting position, glancing at his wristwatch. Three hours had gone by since he'd motored out of the precinct, and all he'd accomplished so far was tossing his coat onto the adjacent chair and sulking like a pro. Even more perplexing, however, was the fact that his daughter and mother remained nowhere to be seen. He undoubtedly would've heard them come in, and to his knowledge, the door hadn't swung open since he'd entered himself. His cell had rang a few times, but he'd ignored it, too busy wallowing in self-pity. Holding the little phone in his hand now, any hopes that Kate had changed her mind were dashed as he saw that it had been his agent who'd buzzed in rapid succession. Listening to her angry, nagging voice in the form of a long and tedious message was the last thing he felt like doing, so he tossed the device back onto the coffee table and trudged into the kitchen.

_I need a drink_, he mused sullenly. _Only the poor man's painkiller can help me now_. Yanking open the fridge, Rick stood staring at the plentifully stocked shelves for a few moments, uncaring of the goosebumps rising on his flesh. He hadn't been this bummed in quite a while, and strangely, it was refreshing. Floating along on cloud nine was great, but every once in a blue moon a guy just had to sprawl out in the gutter. He would've preferred to be pouting about something other than his relationship, but hey, Pat Benatar hadn't made millions on _Love Is a Battlefield_ for nothing. Humming the '80's tune under his breath, he finally grabbed a beer and dragged himself back to the welcoming couch.

About thirty minutes later, Martha Rodgers made her grand entrance, belting out another one of the opening numbers to a stage show she'd once dominated. An amused Alexis was at her heels, toting several bursting bags and a grin that said she'd just scored big.

"Hello there, son of mine!" The older of the two redheads proclaimed in her usual boisterous fashion, sweeping into the loft as though it were a masquerade ballroom. "I was just treating our girl here to an early Christmas shopping spree -- it's the season of giving, after all! _Ho, ho, ho_!" Had she suddenly grown a long white beard and gained a hundred pounds, she could've easily given Santa a run for his money. The woman positively oozed holiday cheer from her every pore, and made sure that the rest of the world experienced it as well.

Tearing his gaze away from the television, which now displayed one of those primitive dog-eat-dog jungle shows on animal planet network, Rick offered the two women a rueful smile. "I'm sure every department store in the city has erected a shrine in your honor, Mother," he responded cordially as he could, hardly in the mood to play along with her dramatics. He would be nice and refrain from pointing out that the ridiculous amounts of money she spent buying Alexis unneeded gifts -- mostly clothing -- came out of _his_ wallet, rather than her empty one. Besides, he would be able to agonize over it later, when he went to purchase something and found that his credit cards were all maxed out.

Placing her benefactions on the floor, the rosy-cheeked teen glided over to her father and wrapped her arms around his neck, pecking his cheek. "I limited her to the sale sections only," she whispered, bringing a smile to his formerly disheartened features. Rick knew that he was the only man in Manhattan with a daughter who regulated her grandmother's spending habits.

Pulling back and dazzling him with her pearly whites, Alexis quickly raked intelligent blue-green orbs over her dad's face, and immediately sensed something to be awry. "What's up, Dad?" She inquired in concern, her light ginger brows knitting together with worry. Intuitive and thoroughly right-brained, little escaped her notice, especially when it came to her father. In a matter of seconds, she'd observed the gleam of sorrow in his eyes along with the nearly empty beer bottle clutched in his hand, and been able to put two and two together.

However, before Rick could respond, Martha commanded their attention with her exuberant, lively voice. "Where's Jane Bond off to?" She questioned cheerfully, referring to Kate. Holding up a small _Tiffany & Co._ box, the spirited woman elaborated, "I found these simply _exquisite_ earrings that I know she'll go absolutely gaga over. Snagged them for just under five-hundred!" A gleeful grin illuminated her wrinkled features, as though she spoke of some dirt-cheap deal. Of course, in her eyes, it was.

Alexis nearly choked on air. "_Gram!_" She exclaimed, rocketing into a standing position. "I thought all you bought there was a ring for half-price -- what happened to 'curbing your spending appetite'?" The expression on the young girl's face was one of pure bewilderment, as she shot frenzied glances between her father and grandmother. "Kate doesn't even _wear_ jewelry! You should return them." Turning to Rick for support, she was exasperated to find that he had continued to relax on the sofa in a state of amused contentment. Clearly he was not at all troubled, and instead found the whole spectacle rather entertaining. It was better than tormenting himself about the afternoon's events.

"Oh, posh," Martha waved her hand dismissively, holding the earrings high above her granddaughter's grasp. "We thought she'd never put on that Armani pencil skirt either, and here she's worn it three times already! Plus, now she's got some _real_ hair to toss around, and it would be a heinous offense for her to be without a set of sophisticated diamond drop earrings from the best jeweler in New York." Giving a short nod of satisfaction at her own speech, she surveyed their surroundings for the subject of their conversation. "Besides, no one made it against the law to fight crime in style." The cheeky grin she sported clearly displayed where her son had inherited his own from. "Now, where is that slippery lass?" Her probing gaze settled upon Rick, an innocent onlooker until then.

His momentary lightheartedness thoroughly dissolved, the thirty-something author took another swig of his drink, in no hurry to provide his mother with an answer. A part of him was still secretly hoping that Kate would drift down the stairs in that effortless, utterly captivating way of hers, both elegant and poised to spring all at the same time. He could picture her broad, beautiful smile as though it were blooming right before his eyes, and easily envision her gathering up her dark tresses into a clip as she did every evening. She would give Alexis' hair a gentle, affectionate tug as she passed by, and laugh as Martha commented for the millionth time that she should've been a dancer rather than a cop. _Take it from me, darling -- that kind of fluidity and grace simply cannot be taught_. The brilliant brunette would just shake her head in amusement and disbelief, rendering him speechless as her emerald eyes lighted on his face. Featherlight fingers would caress his arm as she breezed past him and into the kitchen, silently beckoning for him to follow...

"_Ahem_." The sound of a rather theatrical throat-clearing jolted him back to reality, and to the cold hard truth that the woman he often lost himself in was nowhere nearby. "Where have you gone and floated off to, Richard? I asked you a question." A knowing smile stretched across Martha's features, as the 'Kate expression' she'd come to recognize faded from her son's face. Whatever had been on his mind, she could safely say it had something to do with the detective who had managed to capture all of their hearts without so much as batting an eyelash.

Tugging a hand through his hair, Rick replied in a voice that only just hinted at his growing fractiousness, "She's not here, Mother." His gaze flickered over toward Alexis, who appeared to be processing this information with some sort of unidentifiable emotion.

Smile dropping from her features, the aging diva tilted her head to the side. "Not here?" She spoke the words as though they were some foreign dialect, alien to her ears. "Well, then, when will she be?" Impatience had seeped into her voice, as though she didn't have the time to deal with such preposterous notions.

"Dunno," he responded gruffly. "She wanted a night alone at her place." Rick's eyes were trained upon the television, as though it were the only important thing within a ten mile radius.

A silence. His words hung as though suspended in the air by some invisible force, looming above each of their heads like an impending storm. With Gina it had been staying late at the publishing agency to 'proofread', while Meredith... well, God only knew where she'd been, but the likeliest situation involved her bent over a bar counter with some lewd, handsome stranger pressed against her. All he knew was that each time, the beginning of the end was triggered by a desire for 'alone.'

"It's all my fault." The faint, guilt-ridden whisper of a young and misty-eyed redhead shattered the quiet that had settled over the room. Sinking onto one of the footstools placed in front of the couch, there was a staggering realization evident on her face that seemed to weigh down the rest of her petite body. Meeting the questioning and slightly incredulous gaze of her father, she elaborated in a more composed, level tone than had formerly issued from her lips. "I think I scared her, Dad."

The total seriousness of her facial expression made Rick want to laugh in spite of himself. In all honesty, he couldn't picture his kindhearted and angelic daughter frightening even a flea, much less a homicide detective. "What are you talking about, sweetie?" A smile worked its way onto his features as he leaned in toward her, covering both of her hands with his own. "Kate thinks the world of you, you know that." He glanced over at his mother in humorous bemusement, and was surprised to discover that she seemed not to share his mirth. _What am I missing here...? _

"I met Kate for lunch at Shopsins earlier today." Alexis confessed, biting her lip as though coming clean about some horrific crime she'd committed. "And--"

Cutting her off, Rick couldn't suppress hilarity any longer as he teased, "Oh, you _evil_, rotten conspirator, you! What'd you do, plant a spider in her african bean soup?" His eyes sparkled with amusement at the ridiculousness of the idea, and the ever-increasing gravity of his daughter's face.

"No, Dad, you don't understand. I did something... Something that I thought would make her happy, but maybe just pushed her away." She squeezed his hands tighter, silently imploring him to listen. The desperation in her tone sobered him up enough to take her words seriously, and halt his joking for a moment. Alexis inhaled deeply, before taking a plunge for the second time that day. "I asked her to come with us to _Kāʻanapali._"

Any remaining trace of cheerfulness faded from Rick's face, as he came to comprehend the significance of this development.

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_Not to worry, I haven't forgotten about our favorite NYPD detective and medical examiner -- their girl's night will be next chapter. Whether that'll be posted sooner rather than later is in your hands... In other words, click the lovely green button below!_


	4. Chapter 4: Ladies Night

_Thanks so much for all the responses! Y'all rock. Castle belongs to ABC._

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Chapter 4 -- Ladies Night

It was just so, _so_ damn tempting.

After entering her chilled, lonely apartment for the first time in almost a full week, Kate Beckett was horrified to find herself identifying with the intense and vastly pathetic cravings she had seen ravage so many alcohol, heroin, and other illegal substance addicts. Their complete and utter dependence on narcotics, stimulants, and/or whatever else made them virtually useless, a slave to their own body's untamed urges. Casting aside any and all concern for life, loved ones, and their own self-preservation, these tainted individuals scraped by day-to-day only with the apathetic assistance of a needle in their arm or bottle in their hand. Being a New York City girl by origin, and a cop no less, the same sob story had unfolded before her eyes on countless occasions. People from all walks of life were suffocated by their 'little habit', which at one point they'd thought was within their control -- but it really hadn't been, from the second they put themselves on the line for a gratification that couldn't and wouldn't last.

While sympathetic to an extent, as someone who'd put herself above such things Kate hadn't much been able to relate to the strung-out and desperate beings they dragged in off the streets on a daily basis. Her heart, of course, went out to anyone who had to deal with struggles of that nature, but nothing had ever compelled her to connect herself with the those people. They were so helpless, so out of control and so frayed, never in a million years had she dreamed she would have something in common with them. That is, until she'd realized addiction was a universal phenomenon, one way or another manifesting itself in even the most self-possessed and prudent of folk -- including herself.

No, Kate was not substance-abusing, and certainly not an alcoholic after the ordeal she'd been through with her father. The addiction she both delighted in and suffered from was something far different, having everything to do with matters of the heart, and nothing to do with chemical sensations. Her vice could be considered something like a metaphorical dope, though rather than only possessing destructive properties, it also had the coveted power of healing and the ability to illuminate her soul to its darkest and most obscure crevices. This complex drug had a name, a famous one at that, and it so happened to be Richard Castle.

It was strange to think that less than a year ago, 'Richard Castle' had just been something plastered across a set of hardcovers nestled in her bookshelf. The man himself had been nothing more than a distant anomaly, a source of late-night literary entertainment propped open on her lap as she curled up beneath the illumination of her bedside lamp. Now she could map out his every feature to the minutest detail, read his mind at a single gaze into his eyes, and finish his sentences without a moment's hesitation. Inside her head she could hear his voice, clearer and more vivid than her own thoughts -- he spoke her name so irresistibly, in a way that was slow and reverent, like a prayer.

That was why it took every last ounce of willpower she had not to seize her phone and savagely dial his number, or flee right back out the door and make a mad dash for his loft in SoHo -- the desire and yearning coursing through her veins would be more than enough to fuel her lengthy journey there, even in the frigid cold. "Damn you," Kate cursed at the image of his breathtaking smile as it invaded her mind, threading her fingers in her dark hair and breathing a sigh of frustration. He wasn't just a wad of gum on her shoe -- that much she'd already admitted to herself. She liked him... a lot. But these emotions, the ones tearing through her like a torrential hurricane? They weren't just casual, a _hey, I think I feel something for you_, sort of thing. Intense and encompassing, they were so infinitely much more.

And that, more than any killer or criminal, scared the hell out of her.

Tossing her coat onro the plushy chair in the corner, Kate cranked the heat up a few notches and surveyed her surroundings. For someone so anal about organization and procedure, her apartment was awfully chaotic, with clothes and various other possessions scattered haphazardly about. This probably had something to do with the fact that she'd spent the majority of the past three months with everyone's favorite crime novelist -- getting chummy with his family, eating as well as cooking his food, and warming his bed. All of the things she'd sworn would never happen, had, and there were no u-turns or emergency exits. From the moment she'd agreed to go on a formal date with him -- flowers, intimate candlelight dinner, the whole shebang -- she'd been royally screwed. She was in love with Richard Castle, and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

An hour and a half later found the female detective unwinding amid a hot bubble bath, with earbuds in and the song _Karma Police_ by Radiohead weaving a soothing melody inside her mind. She was making a formidable effort to escape thoughts of _him_, but it was impossible -- he was just too good _not_ to think about. On the inside of her eyelids was a movie screen, replaying memories of everything from hysterical conversations in the squad car, to movie marathons with Alexis, and steamy nights spent wrestling between the sheets with a man who made her feel hot with unquenchable desire, cold with fear of being vulnerable, and everything in between. These recollections made her smile but also taunted her, a reminder of how dependent she had allowed herself to become upon another person. A person who could choose to cast her aside at any moment, shattering her heart and leaving her alone once again.

Seven o'clock couldn't come fast enough.

Three hours dragged by, seeming to linger just to irritate and infuriate her. _This_ was why she never left the precinct early, or took time off -- because she went positively stir-crazy. For her, a severe workaholic with a savior complex, cabin fever took less than a day to set in. It led her to wonder, what the hell would she do while staying on a little hamlet in Hawaii? Tanning, eating bonbons, and sucking down piña coladas for two straight weeks would resort her to assaulting herself with coconuts, or smacking her head hard against the trunk of a palm tree. There were so many unanswered questions, like... Who would watch her apartment? _Oh, please, you don't even spend any time in it yourself._ Well, then, who would crack cases and catch killers? She couldn't just leave the citizens of New York to fend for themselves against murderers and psychopaths, while she sat around with a pineapple up her ass. _Esposito and Ryan, while immature and red-blooded, are not complete imbeciles. They _do_ know how to do their jobs._

Alright, still. Kate Beckett just did not _do_ vacations. She was a driven, career-minded woman, whose eyes were always on the prize, and whose heart was set on...

_...spending the holidays with Rick Castle_. Finished the wise, annoyingly enlightened little voice in the back of her mind.

"Oh, put a sock in it, Yoda." She snapped at her internal sage, otherwise referred to as her conscience -- the part of her that actually acknowledged her own desires. After paying the cabdriver -- who seemed to be slightly unnerved by her mumbling to herself -- Kate stepped out onto the sidewalk of West 19th, and slammed the car door a little harder than she'd meant to. Weaving her way amongst the throngs of party-goers harrumphing along, she came to a halt at the entrance to the Flatiron Lounge, and flashed her I.D. with the casual ease of a woman accustomed to identifying herself. The ruggedly handsome bouncer barely glanced at it before he gave a curt nod, and she noted with chagrin -- as well as a hint of pleasure -- that he seemed more preoccupied by feasting on her with his eyes. _I still got it_, she mused complacently, and gave him the shadow of a wink as she breezed past.

"Hey, hold up a sec." The bouncer's husky male voice compelled her to do a slow double-take, a look of innocence and faint smugness on her face. "Aren't you that Nikki Heat chick?"

The satisfied smirk instantly dropped from her features, and in its place appeared a rather intimidating scowl. "No," Kate replied succinctly, "I'm Wonder Woman."

With that said, she pivoted on her heel and marched through the door. The sounds of light chatter, tinkling laughter, glasses clinking and boisterous trumpet-playing immediately greeted her art deco-inspired Flatiron Lounge was an old-fashioned type of place, a time machine transporting back to the golden age of cocktails and lively swing music. She'd come here eons ago -- just after attaining a job at the twelfth -- in the company of a friendly, witty medical examiner who would soon become her closest companion. The two of them had been meeting at that same bar ever since, referring to it as the haunt of NYC's 'raciest and raunchiest' law enforcement women. That joke just didn't get old, never failing to start them howling like hyenas.

Emerald eyes scanning the crowded lounge area, Kate grinned broadly as she spotted her attractive, dark-skinned friend seated in the corner, a young man practically kissing her feet. Making her way toward them, she noted with amusement that he looked to be barely of college age -- she was surprised he wasn't at home wetting his Buzz Lightyear bedsheets, or fretting over acne. Once she was near enough to be noticed, Lanie peered up at her with a devilish smile, spurring her to mouth '_cougar_' and place her hands lightly on her hips.

"Hey, I gotta have a private heart-to-heart with my girl, but let's catch up later, aight?" Lanie's voice was seductive and smooth as silk, as she fingered the collar of the kid's shirt. "Don't you go _anywhere_." She purred, as he stood unsteadily and stumbled away, with drool rushing from his open mouth like a river.

Once he had gone, Kate wagged her finger at the other woman, shaking her head in mock disdain. "You really are shameless, Lain," she reprimanded, eyes glinting with mirth. "Where'd you meet him, shopping for action figures at Toys 'R' Us?" They both guffawed at that one, embracing one another.

"Sumthin' like that." Lanie responded vaguely, in her best attempt at a coquettish tone. Looking Kate up and down, she whistled, exclaiming overzealously, "Well _damn_, girl! Aren't you just five feet and nine inches of sheer _sexy,_ up in here lookin' like Carmen Electra's twin." She cackled at the detective's incredulous expression, adding in an equally flamboyant manner, "How in the _hell_ you got man troubles when you flauntin' all that and then some?"

Both amused and indignant at her friend's animated words, the brunette glanced down at herself, and saw the bright red, close-fitting dress she'd chosen to slip into. It hugged her in just the right places, marketing all the alluring 'merchandise' that she kept concealed while on the job -- until recently, that is. Long, dark curls framed her stunning face, adding to her appeal a certain sultriness that stopped the heart of any man who happened to look her way. It was a hairstyle that appeared effortlessly gorgeous, casual and flirty, though had taken her over an hour to perfect. Finally, her lips were a shade of deep crimson, contrasting greatly with the green of her eyes. Was it so wrong for her to want to feel just a little naughty?

Now seated across from Lanie, who was smiling smugly, Kate drawled in her best interrogation voice, "Okay, there are two things starkly incorrect about that little outburst of yours." Elbows on the table, she leaned forward, settling in for the kill. "First off, I never have and never will frolic up and down the coast in slo-mo wearing a skimpy bikini, with David Hasselhoff at my heels." She grinned cheekily as the medical examiner rolled her eyes, throwing her hands in the air. "Second, I do _not_ have 'man troubles.'" A brief pause, in which the woman across from her shot her a look of deadpan skepticism. "I have Castle troubles. There's a world of difference."

"_Hah_!" Lanie cried, earning herself the trademark Beckett glare. "I knew it. You've spent every waking moment with that sexy bimbo, and only come crawling back to me when you need an ear." Holding up a hand to halt Kate's defense proclamation, she sniffed in a comically posh manner, lifting her chin. "No, no, don't try to apologize -- I know the drill." A teensy smile began to creep onto her features. "Give a girl a little smokin' hot shower sex and suddenly best friends are yesterday's news."

Heat colored Kate's cheeks the same shade as her dress. "You're delusional," she retorted, ignoring the wicked and taunting grin Lanie was sporting. "I don't know what _you_ do in the shower, nor do I care to, but I for one do _not_ have 'smoking hot sex.'" She had to work hard to sound disdainful, as images of wet 'n' wild 'bathing' flitted through her mind, causing the warmth of her face to migrate much, much lower.

Arching a brow, the medical examiner shook her head, fluffing her dark curls as she did so. "Your lips says 'nay', but your eyes scream 'yay' -- don't pull any of that shit with me, sister." She leaned forward, elbows on the table and eagerness in her tone. "C'mon, I shooed away a possible conquest in honor of you, least you can do is give me some juicy details." The mischievous woman waggled her eyebrows suggestively, resembling a naughty, feminine version of Daffy Duck.

"You wanna hear how Castle gets down, you buy me a drink first." Kate laughed at her friend's exasperation, and the way she flagged a cocktail waitress with unnecessary vigor. "Besides, I didn't come here for you to pester me about my sex life, I--"

"--at least you _have_ one nowadays, Jesus! You were hiding away like a nun 'til writer boy came along with his--"

"--I _came here_ to talk about something _else_." Kate fought back a smile, drawing out her words emphatically. "And with the way you're harping on about my extrasexticular activities, I'd say that you're the one in the convent lately. Not to mention the tadpole you were pawing at earlier." That shut Lanie up real quick. After they'd ordered drinks, the liberated detective continued, "How 'bout I fill you in on my my most recent dumb-ass move? Maybe then you can forgive me for kicking you to the curb after smokin' hot shower sex." Her emerald eyes glinted puckishly as she, ironically enough, took a sip of her 'Orgasm' -- a fruity cocktail made by mixing Bailey's, Amaretto, half and half, and Kahlúa.

Raising her Mojito high in the air, Lanie nodded in approval, grinning from ear to ear. "So you admit it after all. That's my girl -- a true woman knows it's always better wet." Giggling like sorority girls, they clinked glasses, and each took generous swallows of their beverage. With the liquid still rippling down her throat and leaving a pleasant sort of fire in its wake, the 'body babe' -- as Esposito and Ryan called her -- prodded, "Now, about this supposedly dumb-assed deed of yours -- what sort of shit are we talking here? Work or play?" All business, she laced her fingers beneath her chin. "Have no fear -- the doctor is in." With an impudent smile, she gestured impatiently for the tale to commence.

Heaving a sigh, Kate could easily envision herself lying down on one of those lumpy chaise lounges they had in every therapist's office. It had been a while since she'd unloaded some of her baggage, thus her pseudo-psychologist best friend was in for a lengthy session. "It's definitely play," she replied, smiling faintly as Lanie perked up a bit. "Shall I go from the beginning?"

"Please and thank ya," responded the other woman crisply.

Nodding, the brunette shifted in her chair a bit, getting comfortable. She inhaled deeply, before starting in on her account of the issue. "So, I got together with Castle's daughter for lunch today -- you've met Alexis, right? Smart, sweet, redheaded and dimpled?" At Lanie's affirmative gesture, she continued, failing to notice the softening of the other woman's expression. In her eyes, the way Beckett had taken the teenager under her wing was quite endearing. "Right. Anyway, she specifically told me to ditch Rick -- which, let me tell you, took some real craftiness to achieve." Flicking a stray curl from her line of vision, she quickly came up for air, then was back on course again.

"Well, everything was going great 'til Alexis sucker-punched me right in the kisser." Kate fidgeted with the hem of her dress just at the recollection, unable to keep at bay an instant-replay of the teenager's hope-filled, jubilant expression. "She asked me... she asked me to come with them -- her, Rick, and his mom -- to some hoity-toity little Hawaiian island for two weeks over the holidays." Taking another sip of her drink, she shook her head incredulously, throwing a hand in the air. "Apparently Castle's buddy-buddy with some billionaire who owns a private jet and a slew of seasonal and year-round condos over there. I mean, for the love of God, who has that kind of money to blow? _Christ_." She cupped her face with both hands just at the prospect, unable to imagine what it would be like to be that loaded. "Obviously I told her I'd have to think about it -- who can say downright 'no' to someone so lovable? But holy shit, Lanie, I never signed on for this. It sounds like a bloody storybook romance -- not something that would happen in the life of a homicide detective." Searching her friend's face for any sort of emotion, she tacked on a question she found herself dying to ask. "What would you have said?"

A silence. There was a rather comical mixture of bewilderment, awe, and chagrin on Lanie's face, before she exclaimed, "_Shoot_, girl please -- I would be all up in my grass skirt and coconut bra doin' the hula right about now!" Kate laughed as the animated woman spread her arms to one side and moved them in smooth, undulating waves.

Holding her hands up in surrender, the detective grinned, eyebrows disappearing beneath her bangs. "Hey, you go for it, hon -- Rick wouldn't dream of passing up a scantily clad, gyrating woman. I don't know why he doesn't just put out an ad and take as many as of his crazed female fans as he can, rather than just me, the hard-assed chick with a Sig Sauer on her hip." She chuckled as Lanie pressed a finger to her chin and gazed skyward, apparently considering her options. "Speaking of which, I believe I already managed to shit on our relationship by giving him the cold shoulder this afternoon. I got spooked, then I ran. You know how it goes." Shrugging in a way that said, _why do I even bother?_, she fingered her glass idly.

Fixing Kate with an intense, probing stare, the medical examiner sat pensive for a moment. Then, she stated in the realest, most down-to-earth tone she'd used all evening, "You listen here and listen good, okay, Kate? The reason Castle isn't off downing shots with some leggy blonde in a lei is because he wants and needs _you_. Save for his kid, you're the honest-to-God truest thing in his life. Trust me, I know -- he's not shy when you leave the room." She rolled her eyes with a certain fondness, and continued despite the blush coloring her friend's cheeks. "Likewise, he's perfect for you -- gets you to loosen up and enjoy life like you should. I haven't seen you this happy in a long time, not to mention looking this _good_," the grin from earlier made a brief re-appearance, before she switched back to earnest and straightforward. "And, honestly, I'll be damned if he's not in love with you."

Kate inhaled sharply, recoiling as if from a sudden hard blow. Lanie's were words that had been she'd been religiously avoiding for a while now, too frightening and obscure for her to even take into consideration. It crossed her mind whenever she noticed Rick gazing at her with _that face_, the one she'd only seen on the big screen in films for saps and lonely spinsters. Except this time, her heart told her it was real, because she'd caught herself looking at him in that same way. Something in her came alive when she was with him, a part of her that'd she'd locked and thrown away the key to long beforehand. It was no surprise that she was petrified shitless, and actually considering making for the nearest nunnery.

A hand settled over her own, bringing the cop back from wherever she'd drifted to. It was a warm and comforting touch, faintly calming her blazing nerves.

"Look, Kate," Lanie said gently, holding her friend's gaze steady. "I'm not saying all this to scare you, or make you feel backed into a corner you can't escape from." She squeezed the brunette's hand, reading her facial expressions like an open book. "I just don't want to see you pass up someone really, _really_ good for you, and then spend the rest of your life wondering 'what if?', and 'why didn't I?'."

Brows knitted together in anxiety and deep introspection, Kate rubbed the side of her head with her free hand, wondering how their fun-filled 'girls night' had taken such a solemn turn. "What have I gotten myself into, Lanie?" She murmured, feeling more vulnerable and helpless than she'd allowed herself to in a long, long time. Eyes filled with desperation, she looked at her closest companion, and squeezed her hand right back. "How the _hell_ am I gonna explain two weeks off, in correlation with Castle, to Montgomery and the boys?" She repressed a sudden urge to smack her head against the life-sized model of Marilyn Monroe nearby.

A sympathetic smile illuminating her features, Lanie reached over and patted her friend's cheek lightly, wiping away a lipstick smudge. "You're on your own there, girl," she replied in a sorrowful, faintly amused tone. "All I know is, you better motor on over to that boy's crib and tell him what's written all over your pretty face right about now."

"Yeah, I will. But first..." Kate glanced at Lanie through thick lashes, her face slanted downward. "...D'you really think I look like Carmen Electra's twin?"

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_Want to see Beckett come clean to Castle? Once again, the little green button below is magical, and will grant all your wishes at rapid speeds! Review for another chapter._


	5. Chapter 5: Come Clean

Oy, I am SO sorry for taking this long to update! Things have been crazy, but that's still no excuse for making you all wait -- I hope you can forgive me, and still enjoy the story! This is a pretty long, beefy chapter, so I really hope each of you find it to be 'worth the wait.' Castle belongs to ABC.

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Chapter 5 -- Come Clean

"Life not goin' your way, hon?"

Moments after a burdened sigh had billowed from Kate's cherry red lips, the burly cabdriver in the front seat posed the solicitous question with a heavy Brooklyn accent. Surprisingly enough, the dark eyes that peered at her through the rearview mirror belonged to a woman -- a large, beefy one, but a woman nonetheless. It was odd, because in all her years of living in Manhattan, she'd always gotten into ostentatiously yellow taxis to find a man behind the wheel. But she was not at all irked by the change, as she herself worked in a field dominated by masculinity. After all, there weren't many other chicks around that could take down and cuff a perp faster than a bystander could blink. At least, not that she knew of -- Charlie's Angels had nothing on her.

Lifting her slender shoulders in a half-hearted shrug, the brunette directed her gaze out the icy window, watching a few straggling snowflakes drift down to Earth. "Can't complain, really, when I got no one to blame but myself for screwin' things over." She slipped into street lingo without a moment's hesitation -- three months undercover in the Bronx her rookie year had taught her all she needed to know about walking the walk and talking the talk. Plus, after an evening in Lanie's company, it was hard not to absorb a little bit of her swag 'n' 'tude.

"Aw, cut yaself a lil' bit of slack, honey. Hell, if I was beautiful as you, I wouldn't let no man bring me down." The driver chuckled in a way that was deep and soulful, as Kate's head snapped up at her words. "Where to?"

Blinking as she recovered from a jolt of surprise at the woman's insightful comment, Kate reflexively began to rattle off her address -- but then Lanie's words came flooding back to her. _All I know is, you better motor on over to that boy's crib and tell him what's written all over your pretty face_. Chewing on her lip for a moment, she deliberated in silence, then decided if shit was going to hit the fan then it might as well be tonight. "Corner of Lafayette and Houston." She finally stated gruffly, knowing that it was a long ride to SoHo, and she was going to end up forking over an arm and a leg to get there. But she was past caring, for money couldn't buy these feelings that made her pulse race and her heart beat wildly in her chest. The whole damn world could come crashing down at that exact moment, and she would still find a way to see him.

And when Kate Beckett had something to say, then goddamnit, the world shut up and listened. There were words on the tip of her tongue that someone special needed to hear, and she would brave hell and back to make sure he got the message.

"Well aight then," the stocky woman nodded resolutely, and pulled away from the curb with all the reckless speed that made New York cabdrivers notorious. "It's gon' cost you a pretty penny though -- hope this guy's worth it." A smirk was on her face, as she dodged other vehicles and switched lanes with the agility of a cheetah on the Sahara.

Emerald eyes trained on her lap, Kate pursed her lips, remaining quiet for minute or two. "He is." She finally murmured, wearily sinking back into the cushion of the seat. There was a chance she might get to his apartment, panic, and run -- she didn't have a strategy, a plan of action, or a speech. Hell, she didn't even have the slightest inkling of what she would say when he opened the door and fixed her with that intense, blue-eyed gaze that made her feel like he wasn't just looking _at_ her, but rather, looking _in_ her. The ever-present voice of reason in the back of her mind was practically shrieking, cautioning her against the plunge she was about to take. She was hovering at the edge of a cliff, eyeing the cold and churning waters down below. Part of her was terrified, utterly paralyzed with fear of diving into the unknown. But there was also the other side of her, the one that was so ready to jump, to be swallowed in the rapturous waves and drown in the love she knew Rick Castle would give her in a heartbeat.

_Oh, God_. She was nauseous, the margaritas in her stomach sloshing savagely and threatening to come back en route onto her lap. Kate gritted her teeth and breathed steadily through her nose, attempting to ease some of her raging nerves. Just the prospect of putting herself out on a such a dangerous, vulnerable limb was enough to make the big, bad cop in her shrink like a cowardly kitten. Gone was the boss lady, replaced by an insecure and indecisive child who longed to suckle her thumb and bury herself beneath the shelter of her grandmother's quilt. Fear was surrounding her like a wired fence, and it seemed there was no way out but up. Up into the clouds, up into an unfamiliar and formerly forbidden sort of heaven, or perhaps even hell -- there was only one way to find out which.

"This here's the place." The driver's accented voice jarred her back to reality, and the fact that they were now parked by the curb in front of the familiar apartment of a certain prolific writer.

Practically pressing her nose to the glass, the detective gazed out the window and up six floors, to where she saw the beacon of light from within the loft belonging to three people dear to her heart. It reassured her, oddly enough, and supplemented her with the courage required for her to fish around in her clutch and grab the wad of cash she needed. "Here you go," Kate held out the folded green bills, trying not to think about how she was cleaned out for a while.

Much to her shock, the cabbie gently pushed the cash away with the back of her hand. "Save it, honey. You go get done what needs ta be done." Her guiding smile was reflected in the rearview mirror.

Dark brows knitting together, the brunette shook her head, once again thrusting the bills toward the woman. "Don't be ridiculous. You drive, I pay -- that's how it works. Just take it." Kate Beckett didn't accept hand-outs from anyone, much less strangers who drove taxis for a living. It was probably the woman's only source of income, and she couldn't possibly gyp her out of a good sum of money. What if she had mouths to feed at home?

Waving in an off-handed gesture, the cabdriver made no move to accept the payment. "It ain't nothin', girl. I got enough to get by." Half-turning in her seat to peer at Kate through wise eyes, she added, "Now, get your ass out my car and go get that man. I got places to be too, ya know." Arching a brow, a toothy smile stretched across her features, making her look twenty years younger. At some point, she had been a very pretty lady.

After a moment's hesitation, Kate put away her cash, and gazed at the other woman levelly. "Thank you." She stated simply, before throwing open the door and stepping out onto the sidewalk. Shutting it, she gave the taxi's roof a succinct rap, and then waved faintly as it sped down the street. _That was one strange cabbie_, she thought, before returning her attention to the apartment building in her midst.

"It's now or never," she murmured to herself, the churning frigid air coloring her cheeks as a few glimmering snowflakes settled among her dark curls. It was surprisingly quiet, if one blocked out the distant sounds of car horns honking and tires squealing. For New York City, at least, this was the equivalent of a serene Winter's eve. Hovering there on the sidewalk blanketed in white powder, Kate felt as if she just stood still enough, hearing only the irregular pounding of her heart, then all the uncertainties and obscurities that kept her awake at night would fade away. An answer would be revealed, and she would know what was right. But, of course, it could never be that simple, for nothing ever was. Inner turmoil had wreaked silent havoc upon her soul, and so, she did the only thing that she knew would make everything clearer.

Ever so slowly closing her eyes, she drew in a deep, cleansing breath, and allowed herself to be immersed in memories. Despite the glacial temperature, warmth spread throughout Kate's body as she saw her mother's glowing face, so very near that she could almost feel each breath tickle her cheek. Just like when she was a little girl, she stood on the tips of her toes, just to feel those familiar lips lovingly kiss her forehead. Though it was only a beautiful illusion, it was still so comforting, and filled her with a sense of security and belonging that she would never get from anyone but the one who'd carried her for nine months in her belly. Raising a hand to rest gently atop her chest, she imagined that it was her mom's fingers splayed across her skin, and relished in the feeling -- it was so real, so tangible. _Follow your heart, Katie._ Her voice was soft, tender, reassuring. It filled the detective with a yearning so overpowering that she could scarcely take it -- she hadn't let herself remember for a very long time. But now that she had, a peacefulness entered her and coursed through her veins, like a healing drug.

When her lids fluttered open, it had stopped snowing. The wind had calmed and died, muffling the car sounds right along with it. Though the image of her mother slowly faded from her mind's eye, Kate was still wrapped in the cocoon of soothing warmth that had been left in her wake. She now had the courage that she'd been lacking, and the strength to face whatever unknowns lay in store for her. Despite her earlier misgivings and doubts, the driving voice within told her that it was a risk worth taking. To let this man -- this remarkable and incredible man -- slip away... She just couldn't allow herself to do it; not this time. If she did, everything Lanie had said would come true -- she would be burdened by regret for the rest of her life, wondering what might have been. Wondering why she hadn't gone down that obscure yet promising path, and seized the chance of leaving behind the tragedies of her past.

So, it was with a newfound resolve that she entered the apartment building, the heat and light that embraced her as she stepped over the threshold reassuring her that she was, in fact, actually there. Ever since she'd spent that first night in Rick's arms, she'd been harboring this irrational fear that one night she would wake up, and discover that it had all been nothing more than a glorious dream. It was the skeptic in her, always looking for a reason to run, to hide, to evade love and happiness like the plague.

But that was all about to change.

On the elevator ride, she had set her jaw and squared her shoulders, talking herself up just as any football player would before a big game. She was confident, dignified, and totally sure of just what she had to say -- and what he needed to hear. However, once she had rapped lightly upon the door and it swung open to reveal the sweet, angelic face of a fifteen year-old redhead, all of that faded and Kate visibly deflated.

"Kate!" Alexis exclaimed, her wide and expressive blue-green orbs lighting up instantly. There was a loud crash from somewhere inside the apartment, and the detective assumed that Rick had heard his daughter's enthusiastic announcement of her arrival. "I'm so glad you're here." The youngest of the Castle clan moved forward as though intending to hug her, then halted, uncertainty written all over her features.

A soft smile graced her lips. "C'mere, you." Kate spread her arms, then loosely draped them around the younger girl as she stepped into her welcoming embrace. She lightly rested her chin atop the gingery head that now leaned against her chest, and released the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. This was natural, and it was beautiful. She finally understood how her mother had felt, whenever she'd drawn her close.

"I thought I'd upset you," Alexis murmured into the fabric of Kate's scarf, her words muffled, though clearly weighted down by guilt and shame. "That maybe... Maybe you weren't coming back." Despite being remarkably mature, and wise beyond her years, even a teenager as collected as she was not immune to the lingering insecurities of childhood.

The vulnerability and desperation evident in the teen's voice, which had grown small and fragile, wrenched at Kate's heart. With a single finger, she tenderly lifted Alexis' chin, and gazed directly into her innocent, youthful face. "It's gonna take a hell of a lot more to scare me away, hon." She said softly, wiping away with her thumb a solitary tear that rolled down the girl's cheek. "Nothing that you ever say or do could possibly make me leave, you hear? I'm not going anywhere, and I mean that." In the depths of her emerald eyes was a promise, and even a stranger could see that Kate Beckett was a woman of her word. Thus, her doubts vanished, the redhead once again wrapped her arms around the detective's middle and burrowed her face into the softness of her winter apparel -- it smelled of lavender and jade, a scent that she'd grown accustomed to over the past few months.

Brushing her lips against the crown of Alexis' head, Kate sensed another presence in the room, and lifted her gaze until it came to rest upon an uncharacteristically solemn-faced crime novelist. Hands shoved casually into the pockets of his jeans, he contemplated them from his stance leaning against the wall, baby blue eyes smoldering with an intensity that had the power to set her heart aflame even from a distance. She felt the familiar flip-flopping of her stomach, the palpitations within her chest, and the adrenaline kicking through her veins. This was the potency of his effect on her -- a single look set every rhythm of her body thrumming erratically, made her weak in the knees. There had been a time when this had alarmed her, pushed her away even. But now... Now, she was able to recognize and appreciate it for what it truly was.

Lifting her head for the first time in a good minute or two, Alexis glanced up at the detective, light eyebrows pulling together. "Are you okay?" She inquired curiously. "Your heart is beating like a dr..." Trailing off, she followed Kate's gaze over to her father. A knowing smile dawned on her features, as she gently withdrew from their embrace. "See you in the morning," she stated delicately, working very hard not to sound smug.

Leaving a faintly blushing detective in her wake, the redhead drifted over to her father, on whose cheek she planted a chaste kiss. Lingering a little longer than necessary, she murmured into his ear, "Don't screw this up." Pulling back, she met his mildly amused -- and insulted -- expression with a light, animated shrug of the shoulders. "'Night, Dad." With that, she padded up the steps and disappeared into her bedroom, leaving them alone to stare at one another.

Exactly who had taken the first step forward, Kate couldn't honestly say -- all she knew was that before she could blink, her face was inches from his, and her hand was tenderly cupping his cheek. He leaned into her palm, and she felt light stubble tickle her skin, raising the hair on the back of her neck.

Light eyes reflecting both doubt and desire, Rick inclined his head in her direction, resulting in their noses just barely brushing. "Hi." He murmured in a husky, affectionate tone, gaze roving over her features and finally lighting upon her dark, cherry red lips. The tips of his fingers briefly caressed the base of her throat, as he fiddled with one of her silky curls.

Breathing was becoming increasingly difficult by the second. "Hey." Kate heard a voice speak, but it didn't sound anything like her own. It was high-pitched, nervous, and girlish -- three attributes that definitely didn't make an appearance when she was playing hardball in the interrogation room. But this was different on so many levels. His eyes, captivating and deep and _blue_, bore into hers with such a passion that threatened to implode every neuron in her brain, which seemed to be rapidly shrinking. His voice, so unlike her own, was rich and unbelievably sensual, evoking a train of thoughts and images that were wholly inappropriate with a teenager directly above them. Just the general nearness of him was intoxicating, for despite the irrationality of it, she felt as if it had been a millennium since he'd pressed himself up against her and...

_Oh, good Lord._ How the _hell_ were they going to have a serious conversation if all she could think about was throwing him down on the couch and having her wicked way with him? This was not something that she'd accounted for, this... _aching_. Why did he have to be so goddamn appealing? It should've been illegal, really.

Before she even knew what was happening, Rick had made short work of the buttons on her coat, his fingers more quick and nimble than anyone could've imagined -- even she, despite all the times they'd been together. There was the rustling of fabric, and all of the sudden she was standing before him in nothing but that tight, slinky red dress she'd worn to the bar. She felt vulnerable and exposed, and not just because of the very little material that actually was the provocative garment. Her emotions were raw, unbridled, and something in the way he drank in her every curve told her that he sensed her violent inner turmoil.

But when his eyes met hers, there was something entirely different from lust in their depths. Something that made her heart stop altogether, and the air rush from her lungs in a single, collective _whoosh_. "You're beautiful." He spoke it as though it was a realization, the truest thing he'd ever uttered in his life.

And that was when it shattered. Every last wall, blockade, and inhibition that had formerly been barring her from coming clean was blasted into oblivion, never to return.

"_I love you_."

It was the most breathless, manic, and profound thing she'd ever said, and now that she'd started she just couldn't stop. "_God_, I love you so much that I just can't even stand it! It's the most incredible and terrifying thing I've ever felt, and at first all I wanted to do was run from it, to get as far away as possible. I was so damn afraid of getting hurt and falling into that dark place again, not taking risks at all and missing out seemed like a fair price to pay to keep my head above water. But then I met you, and..." Fingers twisted into the mass of her dark, curly tresses, she searched frantically for the words on the tip of her tongue, more wild and recklessly abandoned than she'd been in what felt like centuries. "Things changed." Her arms dropped limply to her sides, and she regarded him with the complete and total amazement that she'd been concealing since the day they'd first come in contact.

"At first, I just wanted to rip your oversized head off -- goddamn it, that smirk! Nothing would've made me happier than to throw you off a cliff..." Kate shook her head vigorously, the most dazzling and disbelieving smile illuminating her bewildered features. "But you stayed around, and this bizarre connection -- this mind-blowing, insane bond that we had from the start -- just kept on growing. And then, as each day passed, I realized that there were so many different sides to you -- things I'd never dreamed of, like sweetness and caring and genuine concern for others." She shrugged, still unable to process all of this discombobulated word vomit that just kept on spewing -- it was beyond her control. "And then... then you butted into my mom's case. I told you not to more times than I could count, but you went ahead and did it anyway. I just wanted to kill you, because... Because some little piece of me that had loved you then had died, and it was crushing. You ripped open a wound, and it hurt _so_ bad, but... you were there for me when I finally did face it head-on, and even when all hell broke loose."

For reasons unbeknownst to her, there were tears streaming down her face now, leaving behind wet, salty, and spidery trails of inky mascara. But her voice was still strong, and didn't quaver one bit despite the violence of her emotions. "I didn't want to fall in love with you. Whenever I thought about being in a relationship with you, all I could see were reasons not to get involved -- all the unknowns, all the risks, all the strings that could potentially drag me back to that hell I'd only just barely escaped... I was wounded, damaged goods. I still am, and I always will be -- some scars just never fade." Kate placed a hand on her chest, feeling the crazed beating of her heart. "But now, I've seen how good it can be... How good it _is_. I can't even describe how amazing it is to fall asleep with you next to me, and I never want to go back to how it was before. I think... I think I'd die, if I had to be alone again. No, if I had to be be without you -- that's when I just... couldn't go on." She marveled at the cheesiness of her own phrase, letting out a short, hoarse laugh. The really insane part was that she meant every last word.

"Truth is, I would fly to the moon on a fucking _cow_ with you. I would go anywhere -- and I mean anywhere -- if it meant staying with you. Wherever the hell it is you go for Christmas -- Kowapunga, Pineapple Island, _whatever_... If you're there, I am too. Because... because I love you." Kate inhaled a deep, shuddering breath. Her cheeks were aching from smiling, and her throat was dry from so many pent-up confessions -- but she was done. It had been hard to get the first words out, but after that, not even a World War III in his living room could've halted her stampede. It felt as though an enormous weight had been lifted, one that had been suffocating her with each moment it remained unspoken.

For the first time since her downright explosion, Kate really, truly looked at the man she'd just bombarded with every emotion she'd experienced over the past year. It finally occurred to her that, while it was fine and dandy that _she_ was feeling good, all of that psychotic babbling would turn out to be quite pointless if he didn't return the sentiment. And not only that, but she would be forced to jump off the roof of the building, because she would never be able to live down how much of a fool she'd just made out of herself. That is, if he didn't return each of the sensations she'd just discussed perhaps more in-depth than necessary.

The complete and utter deer-in-the-headlights, paralytic shock on his face slightly alarmed her. Taking a small step toward him, she asked in a soft, slightly fearful tone, "Rick?" No response. Kate felt a cold sort of cross between terror and humiliation lay siege upon her stomach, as she reached out a tentative hand to place upon his chest. "Rick, I--"

As soon as her fingers grazed his skin, he lunged, and his lips were crashing against hers. It was just as passionate, ardent, and fervent as all their other kisses, but infused with something more -- something like all the feelings she'd just described. Kate relished in the depth and sweetness of his mouth, content to drown forever in the taste of him. It was a struggle for them to get to the bedroom, what with neither one of them willing to untangle their wildly entwined limbs -- half-way across the living room, they were forced to stop at the couch, and on the stairs they also required an extremely passion-filled rest. And although they tried to keep quiet for the sake of Alexis' innocence, this too proved to be a challenge.

However, when they finally did make it to the master bedroom, it was better than it had ever been before. Kate was a cop, and thus the mentality of a homicide detective would stick with her 'til the day she died. And yet, on that night she spent with Rick, they did not have sex. In complete and total seriousness, she could say that they literally _made love_, and it would never seem cheesy to her -- not then, not ever. Why? Because she loved him, he loved her, and that was enough reason behind a lifetime of love-making.

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_A/N: There you have it, the moment you were all waiting for! Hope you liked it. But Beckett's troubles are far from over... She's still got to explain to Montgomery and the boys two weeks gone at the same time as Castle! Wanna see the epic awkwardness unfold? Review and your wish shall be granted -- and much quicker than it took for this chapter!_


	6. Chapter 6: Morning Mayhem

_Thanks for the reviews, y'all are the best! Castle belongs to ABC._

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Chapter 6 -- Morning Mayhem

That any single individual could be so completely and utterly captivating was beyond belief. In the fragmented rays of sunshine that slid between the slats of the blinds, Rick marveled at the peacefulness that overcame her features in the midst of a deep sleep. There was something innocent about her, pure and serene, as she lay curled up and cozy beneath the bedcovers -- his bedcovers. Forehead line-free and eyes concealed by delicate lids, she possessed a sort of childlike simplicity that gave him a glimpse of what she might've looked like as a teen, or a young high school girl with nothing to worry about but acing that biology test and a scoring a date to prom.

Slumbering beside him, breathing slow and steady, was not the hard-boiled Detective Beckett of New York City Police Department's twelfth precinct homicide division. No longer wearing her bulletproof vest or brandishing her gun cocked and ready, she was purely and simply Kate. The woman always equipped with some witty, disarming retort to his every teasing poke and prod, no matter how outrageous or insensitive. The woman who, by day, solved mysteries and tragedies too horrific for the rest of the world to behold, then by night whipped up delicious _pasta alla carbonara_ and french-braided his daughter's hair. The woman that could set his heart pounding at a mere glance, and unwittingly bewitch him just by going about her normal, everyday rituals.

The woman he was in love with.

Fondness softening his features, Rick watched as she began to stir beneath the sheets, long lashes fluttering against glowing porcelain skin. For a moment her beautiful, intensely green eyes were hazy, coated in a film of sleep-induced drowsiness. She blinked a few times, gaze sweeping the room until it came to rest upon his face. His heart skipped a beat at the radiant smile she gave -- it was certainly a sight he wouldn't object waking up to every day.

"Morning, gorgeous," he murmured affectionately, reaching over to lightly caress her cheek with the back of his hand.

Laughing softly, Kate scooted nearer 'til her lips brushed the base of his throat. "Aloha," she sighed against his skin, giving a monstrous yawn. Upon looking up to see his amused expression, she stated in her defense, "What? I'm practicing for the trip."

A grin working onto his features, his stroking fingertips glided from her cheek all the way down to her hip. "You know what else you can practice?" His lips hovered just above her ear, sending a chill down her spine with a voice that was rich, tempting, sensuous.

_Two can play this game_, the detective thought smugly. Bringing her face enticingly closer to his -- so that their noses just barely brushed -- she whispered in her steamiest, most erotic tone, "Enlighten me." Abruptly seizing the hand that rested on her hip, she yanked it to the side and splayed his fingers over the shapely curve of her ass.

A guttural sort of moan issued from Rick's lips, and in the blink of an eye he'd tugged her on top of him. "I had a very, _very_ good dream." He drawled huskily, hands inching slowly up her thighs and blazing a trail of fire in their midst. "There was some sand, sun, and one sexy policewoman in an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny yellow polka-dot bikini."

Pressing flat against him, Kate traced designs on his chest with featherlight fingers, emerald eyes dancing. "Yellow polka-dot bikini, eh?" She arched a brow, and chuckled at his vigorous nodding -- he resembled a little boy on Santa's lap, begging for that puppy his mother just wouldn't give him. "I dunno, Rick... I'm more of a one-piece kinda girl." The crestfallen expression that dawned upon his features elicited a light laugh from her lips.

"But, but... That makes skinny-dipping so much more _complicated_." He shook his head in sorrow. "Don't you want your man to have easy access, Katiekins?" Smiling devilishly, his fingers tiptoed to the sensitive, red-hot area between her legs.

Squealing in surprise at the intimate contact, Kate slapped his hand away, thinking of Alexis downstairs -- awake, alert, and eating a bowl of cereal. "Your daughter is _not_ going to appreciate sound effects," she hissed, trying to ignore the swell of liquid heat down in her nether regions.

"Funny," Rick remarked innocently, diverting her attention from his fingers yet again advancing toward forbidden territory. "You definitely weren't posing any arguments last night. Hell, you were all but begging on your kne--"

Clamping a hand over his smart mouth, the brunette shot him a murderous glare, warning flashing in her eyes. "Don't you _dare_ go there with me. Paws off for now, 'kay?" At his reluctant nod, she lifted her palm from his lips, eyeing him warily. "And you can forget about that bikini." She rolled off of him and stood up, making sure that he didn't see her triumphant grin. He was _way_ too easy to tame.

"_What?_ No!" Rick cried, rocketing into an upright position. "It'll never happen again, Mistress, I swear! Scout's honor." He held three fingers to his forehead, eyes wide and pleading.

Snorting, Kate traipsed over to the set of drawers she'd claimed as her own -- to be funny, Rick had plastered a sticky note reading 'Det. Beckett' on one of them. She selected a pair of fresh panties and pulled them on. "Sorry, slick -- close, but no cigar." She rolled her eyes in amusement, continuing to dress despite his theatrical waterworks routine.

"What about a monokini?"

Kate halted in the buttoning of her blouse. Revolving slowly on her heel to face him, she met his hopeful expression with a blank stare. "A _what now?_"

"A monokini!" He exclaimed with unrestrained enthusiasm, hopping out of bed and striding toward her. "You know, one of those swimsuits with the plunging neckline and sexy side cutouts..." Suddenly his hands were all over her, demonstrating. "They look like bikinis from the back." He murmured into her ear, beginning to unbuckle the leather belt she'd just slid on.

"Whoa there," she placed her hands overtop his, bringing his seduction to a screeching halt. "Cool down now, sparky. Who says I even own one of these ... _monokinis_." Kate spoke the word with disdain, as though it stemmed from the language of some enemy nation.

Cradling her close to his body, Rick smiled, blue eyes sparkling. "I would be _more_ than happy to purchase one for you."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Kate leaned in and gifted him with a sweet, ardent kiss. "That's very thoughtful of you," she replied warmly, patting his cheek. "But I think I'll pass." Shaking her head good-naturedly, she gently pulled away and drifted into the adjoining bathroom.

Watching her disappear with a goofy grin, the mystery writer called out, "You'll change your mind once we get there -- love is always in the air in Hawaii. That, and obscene amounts of sex on the beach." He laughed appreciatively as she shut the door in his face, giving a muffled reply of 'you wish' or something along those lines. After he had pulled on his boxers and a white t-shirt, he perched on the edge of the bed, waiting for her emergence from the 'toilet dungeon', as he liked to call it.

A knock on the bedroom door roused Rick from his reverie. "Is everyone decent?" Came the youthful, humor-filled voice of his teenage daughter.

"We're in the middle of modeling our best birthday suits -- come join the fun, sweetheart." He replied, grinning wickedly as the redhead entered with a wary expression.

"Can't you ever just say 'good morning'?" Alexis inquired with mock exasperation, pecking her father on the cheek. "You know, like every other person on the planet."

"Ah, but I am not of this planet -- you earthlings and your strange greetings are a conundrum to me." He responded in a spot-on impression of E.T., doing the robot.

Arching a single brow, the redhead placed her hands on her hips and fixed him with a skeptical look -- she'd definitely picked that one up from Kate. "Yeah, what else is new?" She demanded, then shrieked as Rick grabbed her by the waist and began a merciless tickling session, cackling like a madman.

"Dad... stop!" Between bouts of hysterical giggling, Alexis choked out the words, writhing and squirming like a worm on the end of a fishing line. "You're... wrinkling... my... _uniform!_"

Letting loose another manic bark of laughter, Rick continued his playful torture, refusing to relent. "Oh, God forbid your monkey suit have a single fold out of place! Whatever is this world coming to?" He screamed in a comically girlish fashion, imitating her delirious cries for some semblance of humanity.

It was then that Kate cautiously emerged from the bathroom, bewilderment all over her face. "_What_ is going on out here? I thought insane asylum escapees had crawled through the windows or something!" She couldn't help but grin at the spectacle before her -- what other household was so lively at seven in the morning?

"_Kate!_" Alexis screeched, arms and legs still flailing wildly about. "Shoot... _shoot him!_"

Before the brunette could even open her to mouth to speak, much less go for her gun, the cell phone in her pocket began to ring. Stepping out into the hallway, Kate flipped it open and pressed it against her ear. "Beckett." She greeted, a professional once more. "Espo, what's up?"

"Got some info down here at the station you'll wanna take a look at -- could help our case." The straightforward and faintly accented voice of Javier Esposito reached her ears, reverting her back to no-nonsense cop mode. "And, our vic's name is Linda Presley. M.E. finally got an I.D. back from the DNA sample."

Nodding shortly, Kate replied in a matter-of-fact tone, "Good work." Storing the information in her mental vault, she moved on to ask, "We got COD yet?"

"That's a negative," Esposito responded instantly. "The girl's so roughed up it's hard to tell just what offed her for good."

"Alright." Kate sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Thanks for filling me in. Castle and I will be down there A.S.A.P." It took her a moment to realize how her words might sound, taken in a certain context. _Shit_, she silently cursed, mentally slapping herself. "I mean, uh... I'll have to call him first, obviously, because we don't live together..." Wow, now that was a stroke of genius. Rolling her eyes at her own transparency, she wondered why she was even bothering to cover it up anymore -- after all, she would have to explain everything before taking leave. She was not the sort of cop that took time off voluntarily, and thus, she knew that the two jokesters would be at her heels 'til she spilled the beans. It wasn't like she could lie, either, seeing as they were the closest to brothers she'd ever had and could tell when something was afoot with her.

"Right." There was smugness in Esposito's tone, and had she been standing beside him, she would've kicked him in the shins. "Where you at anyway, eh? Sounds like superbowl sunday at the NYU frat house."

Remembering that Rick and Alexis were just a few feet away having a tickle-fight to the death, Kate gritted her teeth and headed toward the stairs, galloping down them quicker than a hare. "Oh, you know me, always out partying 'til dawn. A few tequila shots and time flies, right?" She struggled to maintain a neutral tone, reaching into the kitchen cabinet for a granola bar.

Esposito snorted. "I'd like pics from that bash, no question 'bout it." In the background, Ryan could be heard repeatedly asking 'what bash?', and from the rustling she guessed he was trying to swipe the phone from his partner.

"I'll consult with the photographer." Kate replied dryly, taking a bite of her meager breakfast. "Now get back to work, you hear? Get in contact with the Presleys and I'll deal with them when I get there."

"Yes ma'am," the young detective responded in his best lap-dog voice, and she could just picture him saluting.

Shaking her head, Kate slid her phone back into the pocket of her jeans and poured herself a cup of coffee. She was just about to yell up to Rick when he and his daughter descended the steps together, still elbowing one another in the ribs and bantering playfully. Watching them as she pulled on her coat, a small smile tugged at her lips. She loved seeing Castle at his most fatherly -- not only was it endearing, but also oddly sexy. Whether that was normal or made her a perv, she didn't really know, but like it or not it was beyond her control.

"Get your little plaid buns off to school, young lady." Rick said in a teasing tone, embracing his somewhat disheveled-looking daughter.

"Yeah, yeah." Alexis shrugged her coat on, sticking her tongue out for a split second. "You should call Gram, by the way -- not that she'll actually know how to answer her cell, but she went off to some party around nine last night and hasn't been back since." There was a slight trace of worry in the teenager's voice, as she turned around to give Kate a hug.

Smoothing down the teen's gingery tresses, Kate chuckled softly. "We'll finally put our Martha-tracker to good use." She met the younger girl's brilliant smile with a wink, and cuffed her affectionately beneath the chin. "Have a great day, Lex."

"You too! Try to keep _him_," she jabbed a finger in her father's direction, shooting him a playful glare, "in line."

Smiling as she felt Rick's arm snake around her waist and pull her to him, the detective replied cheerfully, "I'll keep my cuffs handy."

"Please do," the blue-eyed novelist muttered into her ear, just as Alexis pulled the door shut behind her.

Gently elbowing him in the side, Kate put some wiggle room between them, shooting him a vaguely stern look. "We've got work to do, pseudo-cop. Lanie IDed the vic, and the boys've got something for us to see down at the station."

"Let me grab my coat," Rick replied in a voice that was much too excited, his eyes lighting up at the prospect of a day chock-full of detecting. Once he'd returned, he rubbed his hands in anticipation and inquired lightly, "Usual routine, I assume?"

He was referring to the way they'd been getting to the precinct for the past few months. She would leave to catch a cab, and then a few minutes later he would do the same, letting them arrive at the station far enough apart so as not to attract suspicion.

Drawing in a deep breath, Kate chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, then shook her head. "Let's go together." She stated resolutely, swallowing her fear and apprehension. After last night, she just couldn't pretend -- she wanted to be open about their relationship, rather than hiding it away as though ashamed or embarrassed. There was point when you just had to throw caution to the wind, and that time was upon them.

A wide, pleasantly bewildered smile stretched across his features. "You sure?" He asked, attempting to conceal the hope that was already written all over his face.

"Positive." Kate took one of his hands and enveloped it with her own, green eyes filled with a certainty that knocked him clear off his feet. "I love you, remember?"

Leaning in for a quick, soft kiss, Rick murmured, "And I love you." Offering her an arm, he grinned broadly. "Shall we?"

A smile blossoming on her features, Kate looped her arm through his and decided not to fight the cliché. "I believe we shall."

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_So, is anyone else already sick of Castle's hiatus on TV? The reruns are fun to watch, but I want some new episodes! Anyway, click on that magical green button down below for the next installment!_


	7. Chapter 7: Between the Lines

_Much love to all my reviewers -- y'all are amazing! Castle belongs to ABC._

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Chapter 7 -- Between the Lines

It was on the elevator ride down to the squad room that she lost her cool.

Just as the massive metal doors were beginning to slide open, Kate lunged forward and savagely pressed the button with the two inverted arrows, watching with wide eyes as the sliver displaying the hallway beyond rapidly disappeared.

Whipping around to face the bewildered, intrigued author in her midst, she ground her teeth before forcing the words from her lips. "I'm scared as hell." She was straightforward and blunt, her tone brutishly honest. It was not a phrase she often uttered, so naturally it sounded a bit strained. "I don't know if I can do this, Rick." Her mouth transformed into a hard line, as she stared fixedly at the tiled floor.

The tightness in her voice made even he, the free and easy rich boy, stand up a little straighter. "What are you so afraid of, huh?" Compassion and concern flooding his blue eyes, Rick closed the gap between them in a solid two steps forward. As he caressed her cheek lovingly, she was compelled to look him full-on in the face, fear and vulnerability plain to see. "That they'll crack a few jokes at our expense? Beckett and Castle, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G." He chuckled softly, having little trouble with visualizing such a spectacle occurring -- just because cops had guns didn't mean they were all mature.

Kate let out a hollow and choked sort of laugh, fidgeting with the zipper of her fur-lined coat. "Oh, I don't doubt that." She chewed her lip indecisively, a habit that seemed to have been getting worse as of late. "It's just, I... I'm a private person, you know that. I don't like people poking around in my business, especially co-workers. The whole 'don't ask, don't tell' policy they have in the military is something I really wish applied to everyday life." Shaking her head as though unable to say more, she looked to the wall, fighting back stronger emotion.

Gently rotating her head to face him once again, Rick arched an expectant brow, clearly waiting for her to let it all out. With a shuddering sigh, she continued, unwittingly tapping her foot out of anxiety. "I've spent the past nine years making a name for myself in these parts. A woman on the police force... she has to deal with a lot of shit to get anywhere worth being." Her emerald eyes visibly darkened as she thought back to some of her blackest days in law enforcement, many of them involving being scorned and ridiculed for her obsession with her mother's case. "I'm so afraid that if we're open about us, about... what we have," she smiled faintly, "then I'll be labeled as weak, and lose all the respect I've earned here."

In all honesty, he had to admit that Kate's reasoning, while heart-rending, was something of a relief for him to hear. In the back of his mind, he'd always wondered if she was embarrassed or ashamed to be with him, and that was why she was so secretive. But now he understood that it had little to do with him, and more to do with her own self-image. She was so strong, so tough and withstanding, sometimes he forgot that she too had her insecurities.

"Aw, love," Rick murmured, tracing the outline of her lips with his thumb. "Those people out there," he gestured at the elevator doors, "they don't respect you because you can look at guts on the ground without batting an eye, or lock and load a gun. Don't you see?" He cupped her face in both hands, light eyes sparkling with admiration as he gazed at her. "They respect you because you get the job done, and better than anyone else. You're a force to be reckoned with, and no matter what they say or do, they'll never change that about you." His lips lightly brushed her forehead as he added, "And I can tell you for certain that falling in love does _not_ make you weak. It makes you a stronger, fuller person, and only people who've never given nor received it'll look down on you for embracing it."

Releasing all her pent-up tension and anxiety in one collective exhalation, Kate rested her forehead against his, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. "You're a lifesaver, you know that?" She laughed softly, wrapping her free arm around his middle. Her other appendage was still occupied with holding down the 'closed doors' button, as she reveled in the last peaceful moment she was likely to have before beginning work.

"Never thought you'd see the day, eh?" Rick said in amusement, as she pulled back and gave him a questioning look. "That I start making sense and you're the one having a moment of lunacy." A wide smile dawned on his features, mirroring the one she'd just cracked. "Maybe I missed my calling, and should've been a therapist or motivational speaker." He tapped a finger on his chin, considering a new career path.

Giving him a final squeeze around the waist, the brunette shook her head, spirits risen by his zany humor. "Alright then, Dr. Phil." She pulled away and lifted her finger from the elevator panel, allowing the doors to slide open. "Let's git-r-done, shall we?"

As they strode down the hall toward the desk area, Rick angled his head toward her and muttered, "That's Larry the Cable Guy, not Dr. Phil -- better brush up on your famous TV personalities, hon." He flashed her a cheeky smile as they turned the corner.

Shooting him a playful glare and narrowing her eyes, the detective was just about to make a retort when her two subordinates sprang into their midst, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

"You're gonna love this one, Castle." Kevin Ryan piped up, his boyish features all alight. He was holding a stack of papers in one hand, and a small cell phone in the other. "Looks like our vic was involved in some pretty risqué stuff." A lewd, mischievous smile played on his lips.

Rolling her eyes lightly, Kate tossed her coat onto her chair and swiped the papers from his hand. "G'morning to you too, guys." She stated dryly, then set to flipping through the documents as she leaned against her desk. The fact that neither Esposito nor Ryan had commented on she and Castle arriving together both relieved and, oddly enough, irritated her. Had she endured all that stress and emotional turmoil only for them to overlook the source of it?

"Just because you're behind the times doesn't mean that everyone else has to be, Ry-ry. These days, cell phones are an everyday occurrence." Rick addressed the young detective in a comically condescending manner, gesturing at the little device he clutched in his hand.

Giving a light snort, Esposito nabbed the cell from his partner and beckoned for both Rick and Kate to come closer. "It's what's _on_ the thing that's good, man." Pressing a few buttons and bringing up a video, he waited until they'd all crowded around before pressing 'play.' "Check it out, yo."

Kate's expression instantly transitioned from skeptical to awed, and into her eyes sprang that diehard detective gleam. It was a recording of the vic, Linda Presley, gyrating around a pole in nothing but a lacy push-up and g-string -- but to her, that wasn't the good part. Half-way through her little stripper routine, a dark-skinned man stormed into view and yanked her away from the pole, and the two of them began heatedly arguing. The hand of the person making the video began to tremble, and then the screen went black.

"Can you get sound on this?" Kate questioned eagerly, and one could almost see her nose twitching like a scent hound on a trail.

Esposito shook his head, grimacing. "Volume control's busted."

"Damn," she cursed under her breath, then brushed it off. It had looked as though the video had been shot in someone's basement -- a TV, couch, and pool table had been in the background. "How'd you get this, anyway?" She had visited the crime scene day before yesterday, and hadn't seen a cell phone on the vic or lying anywhere near her.

Rubbing his hands together, Esposito grinned. "This is where it gets even better. When I called the number listed on there," he gestured at the papers in Kate's hand, "a dude with a voice like Barry White answered. He showed up here lickety-split, all riled up and waving around that phone." Walking a few feet to stand in front of one of the interview rooms, he pointed through the glass toward a tall, pacing African-American man.

"That's the guy from the video," Rick exclaimed, his tone utterly fascinated.

"You bet it is," Ryan confirmed, nodding vigorously. "Says he's her fiancé."

Determination in her emerald orbs, Kate set her hands on her hips, eyeing the man beyond the window like a hawk would its prey. "I'll have a chat with him, then -- from where I stand, he's both the family and a suspect." She turned to Rick, arching a brow. "You comin'?"

Without hesitation, he replied, "Anywhere you go."

Her expression softened, as she gripped the doorknob and twisted it. "Let's do it."

Thirty minutes and one very long, very tedious interview later found the two star-crossed individuals emerging with little more information than they'd had before. Needless to mention, the man had proved to be a tough egg to break. Once they'd surpassed the sadness of breaking the news about Ms. Presley, and had gotten down to business, the guy had retreated into a shell harder than a tortoises'.

Putting on an optimistic face, Rick plopped into the seat next to his girlfriend's desk. "I think that went well." He said cheerfully, meeting the deadpan stares of Esposito and Ryan.

"Really?" Kate began to move restlessly back and forth before him, her tone laced with frustration. "Who were you interviewing?"

Hands clasped in his lap, the mystery writer shot her a look. "I just mean, we have a little more than we did before. You said yourself that this is a process, and not a sudden burst of inspiration like one of my novels." He shrugged, taking a bite of the donut he'd pilfered from another detective.

Kate halted in her jittery stride and regarded him with gratitude in her eyes. He seemed to be coming to her rescue a lot today, didn't he? She was on the verge of walking over and throwing her arms around him when, out of nowhere, 'Don't Rain on My Parade' by Barbra Streisand started blaring.

A sheepish grin stretching across his features, Rick got to his feet and fished in his pocket for his cell phone. "That would be the Grand Damn herself," he stated aloud, mostly for the benefit of the two men who were slack-jawed at the profound gayness of such a ringtone. "Hello, mother, what a _pleasant_ surprise -- your granddaughter was beginning to worry..."

There was a small smile that played on Kate's lips, as she watched him retreat down the corridor and turn the corner. It was then that she felt an odd sort of prickling on the back of her neck, as though she was being watched. Looking back at her team, she raised a speculative eyebrow as they both directed their gaze at the floor in unison. _They definitely know something is going on_, she mused, glancing around the squad room to see who all was there. The bulk of the other detectives and employees were either out in the field or on lunch break, leaving the three of them in relative solitude. It was rare that they had a moment where they weren't bustling about, or in the company of numerous people, so she knew that she had to seize the opportunity to come clean now or do it with more judgmental ears listening.

Drawing in a deep breath, she decided to ease her way into it, but more for her own benefit than theirs. Perched atop her desk and trying a little too hard to be casual, Kate asked in a suspiciously nonchalant manner, "What've you two got planned for the holidays?" Fingering some paperwork, she tried to appear uninterested, as though only making friendly conversation.

The two men traded looks of sheer incredulity -- since when had she taken such an interest in their personal lives? It wasn't as if she was cold or indifferent toward them -- in some ways they were rather like siblings -- but when a case was in the middle of being solved, she was strictly one-track minded. They knew her well enough by now to be able to sniff out when she had ulterior motives, and weren't buying the careful insouciance she was oozing from her every pore.

Leaning back in his chair, Ryan was the first to bite. "Gonna do Christmas eve at my folks' place, and then Christmas day at Jenny's." He had to work hard to refrain from laughing at his pragmatic superior's short nod, thoroughly amused by her uncharacteristic awkwardness. "Where there's nog, there's me too." He added, an insolent smile flashing across features. "How 'bout you, Espo? Got a hot date with one of Santa's helpers?" A cackle escaped from his lips, as a wad of paper hit him square in the forehead.

"Least I still go on dates," Esposito jibed, proceeding to imitate his partner's gooey, lovey-dovey phone conversations with his girlfriend and soon-to-be fiancée. All the tan-skinned detective had heard about for the past two months were Ryan's plans to propose to her beneath the mistletoe, and while he was happy for them, he was also sick of the sentimentality. "I'm goin' to my sister's place in Brooklyn -- she always has a big shebang right around Christmastime."

Nervously running a hand through her hair, Kate forced a smile -- she could tell that they weren't falling for her little act. "Sounds exciting," she stated, comically uncomfortable and keyed up. Her facade was quickly fading, and her anxiety was growing just as quick. It seemed her conversation with Rick in the elevator, while reassuring and uplifting at the time, had still left her with a certain amount of uneasiness.

After a brief pause, Esposito took the hint and inquired in a voice full of laughter, "How will you be spendin' your holidays, chief?" He was able to get her to crack a genuine smile at the usage of her old nickname. "Got another wild bash at the frat house?" A smirk tugged at his lips, as he gave her foot a gentle nudge with his own.

"Oh, aren't you just the epitome of good humor?" Kate retorted dryly, narrowing her eyes in a playful fashion as Ryan let out a loud, appreciative laugh. "Actually, I've got something better planned than the both of you combined." She stated impressively, and for a moment was able to revel in the lightheartedness of their brotherly-sisterly banter.

"Like what?" Ryan scoffed, baby blue eyes twinkling with mirth. "You, Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey Ice Cream, and _Beaches_?" He grinned, knowing that she would probably crucify him for saying such a thing. Esposito was howling, and held up a hand for a celebratory high-five.

Kate clapped a hand to her chest, plagued with mock personal affront. "You _swore_ you would never tell! There's gonna be payback for that one, big time." She shook her head, wagging a threatening finger in his direction.

However, once the hilarity had passed, she knew that it was time to 'fess up. She allowed a moment of silence to come and go, then somehow worked up the courage to take the plunge. "I'm going to ask Montgomery for a two weeks' vacation." Kate blurted, watching their faces closely for a reaction. The only response she detected thus far was a big, fat 'why?', paired with matching curious expressions. "So that I can go to Hawaii over Christmas and New Year's." She flashed a tight, close-lipped smile, her heart thudding in her chest. God, why was she so nervous? It really shouldn't have mattered, whether those two bimbos approved or not...

Silence. The two young detectives traded looks, seeming to have a non-verbal conversation all on their own. After what felt like a century, Esposito gazed up at her, some unreadable emotion in the depths of his grey eyes. "Lemme get this straight," he quipped, holding up a hand. "You, the supreme mistress of all things work-related, are going to spend the holidays at late-night luaus and tiki bars?" A grin crept onto his features as she gave a slow, 'thank you, Captain Obvious' type of nod. "Does that mean you'll be wearing a bikini... and bringing back pictures?"

Groaning with exasperation as he and Ryan once again dissolved into juvenile laughter, Kate clapped a palm to her forehead. "God, what _is_ it with men and bikinis? If you like 'em so well, why don't you put one of the damn things on yourself!" She rolled her eyes in the trademark Beckett fashion, wondering if and when the two doofuses in her midst would surpass puberty. But really, should it have come as that much of a surprise, when Rick had mentioned the very same thing earlier that morning?

Still guffawing, Ryan placed his hands on his hips, feigning self-consciousness. "I just don't think I have the figure," he trilled in a high, girlish tone. After he and Esposito had had another good cackle, the blue-eyed detective inquired, "But seriously," he was a bit out of breath from all the merriment, and had to pause for a gulp of air. "Who are you goin' to Hawaii with? I mean, that's gotta cost some big bucks, and I really can't see you blowing a year's salary for a grass skirt and some palm trees." He arched a brow, thoroughly intrigued. If he knew Beckett at all -- which he did -- then it certainly wasn't in her nature to splurge, much less on herself.

Like a fish out of water, Kate's mouth opened and closed a few times as she searched for words but found none. Glancing off down the hall, her expression softened as she saw Rick on the phone with his eccentric mother, very clearly trying to reason with her about this, that and the other. How could she be so spineless? He was a great man, and she loved him with all her heart -- she should be shouting it to the mountaintops, not cowering in a shadowy corner.

"Aw, you were right, man!" Kate was jerked from her reverie by the sound of a smug, widely grinning Esposito. "We know all about whatcha been tryin' to hide, _uh-huh_." He wagged a teasing finger in her direction, shaking his head lightheartedly.

It felt as though an enormous weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "You do?" She breathed, her tense posture slipping.

"You betcha ass we do!" The tan-skinned policeman was sporting a smile that could easily rival the Chesire cat. "Thought you were bein' pretty sneaky, eh? Nothing gets past us!" He fist-bumped his partner, cackling.

"Secret's out, Becks!" Ryan nudged her shoulder playfully, apparently very satisfied with himself. "Why didn't you just tell us you won one of those radio contests? We wouldn't have been jealous, we're way too mature for that." He grinned, once again giving Esposito a jovial high-five.

For a good half-minute, Kate simply stared at the pair of them, her face completely blank. She pinched the bridge of her nose, then emphatically exclaimed, "How pea-brained _are_ you two?" The urge to repeatedly smack her head against the wall was stronger than ever.

Their celebration cut short, Esposito and Ryan regarded her with equally dumbfounded expressions. "So... You didn't win an all-expense-paid trip to Hawaii?" The latter of the two inquired sheepishly, after a moment of inopportune silence.

The brunette briefly buried her face in her hands. She heaved a great sigh, then dropped her arms to her sides. "Castle and I are dating." For such simple words, they had certainly been difficult to spit out.

There was yet another soundless pause. Esposito arched a single brow, before stating flatly, "That's what you been tryin' to tell us?" He snorted, waving an indifferent hand. "Old news."

It was Kate's turn to be astonished. "You _knew_?" She dropped into her desk chair, thoroughly taken aback. "All this time, both of you _knew_ and didn't say a word?" Loosely crossing her arms over her chest, she scrutinized them for a moment, then shook her head in disbelief. "I'm not buying it." It was just too good to be true. Since when did either of them pass up an opportunity to needle her? The fact that she'd finally gotten together with the man she'd sworn to have no feelings for certainly qualified.

Popping a stick of gum into his mouth with all the nonchalance in the world, Ryan shrugged. "You're right about that -- we didn't say a word," he paused, chewing, "to you."

Kate froze. "_What?_" She threatened, her voice dangerously low. If they'd gone spreading rumors behind her back, heads were about to roll.

Grinning, Esposito appeased, "Cool down now, _mamacita_. Your steamy love affair is all up in this cone of silence, right here." He outlined with his hands a perfect triangle, giving her a mischievous wink. "We just roughed writer monkey up a lil' bit yesterday, nothin' to get all bent out of shape about."

Nodding in agreement, Ryan smirked. "I wouldn't go so far as to say we put the fear of God in him, but..." He glanced sidelong at his partner, then broke out in a boyish grin. "Pretty boy was definitely quaking in his ten-grand Calvin Klein loafers!" The two of them snickered, congratulating each other with yet another fist-bump.

Rolling her eyes, Kate shuffled a few papers on her desk and shot them each looks of vaguely amused chagrin. "What, you guys afraid he'll rob me of my innocence in the backseat of the cruiser?" She held up a hand, halting both of their responses. "Please, _please_ don't answer that." Shaking her head as the two fully-grown men giggled like schoolgirls, she questioned curiously, "How much does Montgomery know about all this?"

"How much do I know about what?"

Kate stopped dead, and both the members of her team grew motionless from their clowning around.

Hands shoved casually into the pockets of his dress pants, Captain Roy Montgomery glanced from face to face of each of his detectives. "You got a breakthrough on your murder?" He eyed them with interest, holding out a hand for the case file.

"Not just yet, sir," Kate replied, her tone vaguely ill-at-ease. She watched through anxious eyes as Ryan gave him all the paperwork, and couldn't suppress the feeling that they'd been doing something naughty, like teenagers caught slacking from their schoolwork by their stern father.

Flipping through the file, Montgomery gave a curt nod. "Keep working on it -- that video is too crucial not to help in some way." Looking up from the papers, he glanced about the area. "Where's Castle?"

"At your service." Rick suddenly appeared behind Kate's chair, seemingly out of thin air. "Family feud," he explained, offering a pleasant smile as he gestured to his iPhone.

Clearing her throat, Kate got to her feet and tugged at the hem of her blouse. "Sir, would you mind if we step into your office?" She tossed a sidelong glance at Rick. "If you've got a moment, that is. It's important."

Raising a brow, Montgomery replied in a slightly perplexed tone, "Of course. I have an appointment at one, but I assume we'll be finished before then?" At her affirmative nod, he gestured for them to lead the way.

With mystery writer and boss trailing close behind, Kate entered the modest office, nausea and anxiety wreaking havoc upon her insides. She felt Rick's hand touch her arm for a moment, reassuring and comforting her. She flashed him a grateful smile, then instantly sobered as Montgomery appeared before them, looking even more authoritative behind his stately desk.

The police-force veteran considered the pair of them, his dark eyes curious and perceptive. "What's up, Detective?"

_Oh, God._ Kate's stomach lurched. _This is it._

_---_

_We're getting closer every day to a new Castle episode -- are you all as excited as me? Review for the next chapter, and the insanity shall continue!_


	8. Chapter 8: Author's NoteUpdate!

Oh my gosh, guys, I am SO sorry it's been so long since I wrote anything on here!Unfortunately, I've lost inspiration for this story, but I've started a new one called "The Best is Yet to Come," which takes place just after the latest Castle episode, and is developing Caskett. I feel like it's gonna be a good one, so if you've still got some faith in me, go to my page and check it out!

Love you guys and keep on watching Castle! 3


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